»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #3
»
I Think This Poem is Bad, But I'll Still Share it
| Teen Poetry #3 |
|
I Think This Poem is Bad, But I'll Still Share it |
|
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Everyday, I still look up at the jealous skies You, a morning star amongst scattered clouds The sun's rays reaching out to touch you face That of Heaven's beauty, even time can't erase Happy for I found the girl seen only in dreams Dreary, you left me alone, hurting and in tears We had a love some spend most their lives to find How easy was it for you to just leave it all behind? I held you in my arms not wanting to ever let go The missing link in my life, the one I'm here for I remember our first kiss, so sweet, so enchanting You're all that means to me, alone I'm but nothing Though you are gone, lost in life's unpopular reasons The hole in my heart, the love forever lost in dreams The sad ending to a story, never ever again to be told You're still that jewel I'll always lay in a ring of gold As i wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
||
| © Copyright 2000 acire - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
StarPryncess17 Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932Colorado |
As always, a beautiful post. You are talented and I am so happy that you have decided to show your face around here again. Keep your head up my friend...I know things will work out. < !signature--> Love Always ~*~Jessica~*~ p.s. don't sell yourself short, this poem is anything but bad!! You are a wonderful poet, and you better recognize...or I'll have to kick your little butt...hehe j/k. but really, you do wonderful, don't doubt it! If aLl My FrIeNdS JuMpEd OfF a BrIdGe, I WoUlDn'T JuMp WiTH ThEm BeCaUsE I'd Be At ThE bOtToM tO CaTcH ThEm. [This message has been edited by StarPryncess17 (edited 09-18-2000).] |
||
|
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
heeeeeeyyyyyyyy now things will work out. Ditto on what star said. Keep it up!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
||
|
Kandi Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 354North of Hell |
This was SUCH a beautiful poem! It's easily one of my favorites! You express your thoughts and feelings so well, and I loved the rhyme scheme and the flow. GREAT job I can't say enough about it!Love ~K~ ~*Things you see the way you see them will never be seen again*~ ~All that I have found in reason is reason just to not believe.~ |
||
|
Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
Acire~~~I am so sorry to hear this...You expressed yourself beautifully though...One day this girl (or maybe she already did) is gonna realize that what she lost... *Falling in love is when you give someone a piece of your heart, falling out of love is when the piece doesnt fit* |
||
Allysa 
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
hey! long time no see! i like this even if you think it's bad. How is she? what's up with life? what do you think chairs would say if they could talk? love ya much, allysa Don't wander throught this glassy surface, expecting to find more than me, because what I am without a purpose, but a lone mirage to see. |
||
|
DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
hey babe!! this was awesome, sorry it took me so long to get to it. keep up the great work and i finally got to read all your poems...excellent worklove always ~!*DQ*!~ "One fine day you'll look at me and know that love was meant to be" ~Carol King |
||
|
Caz Member
since 2000-09-13
Posts 133Concepción, Chile |
Hey, this poem is great. I think that this is a common problem, that we always thing that our poems are bad, well at least that's my problem. Well, anyway your poem was very good. Bye. It's been raining since you left me. |
||
|
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Jessica -- about being talented, I don't know about that. You are the one who could write a poem in 5 minutes. Not me, it usually takes me forever. So, who's the really talented one? YOU!!! But thanks for trying to make me feel better though You are the sweetest --- well, you and Kiley(DancinQueen) Dopey_Dope -- sup? Kandi -- Thanks, but i still think that this is a bad poem. For some reason, I don't like it like the others I've posted. Go check my other poems, just search for it under my name, and tell me if I'm right. Thanks anyways Erin -- I think this girl is too stubborn to recognized that. I gave her everything -- not anymore, now that she's pregnant w/ somone elses kid. Now she tells me she realizes that she's too young to have a kid. I've been saying that. But i guess there's nothing i could do. I love her still though Allysa -- sup? I'm still alive i guess If chairs could talk, they'd tell me they'd rather have me stand than sit.Kiley -- so, you finally decided to read my yucky poem. Thanks -- how'd you like the others? Much better than this crappy one isn't it? Stay sweet -- like Indiana's corn he he he j/k Caz -- Thanks, and yes that is a common problem. We're too critical of oue own selves, but I do like the other posts I've made in here and I'm actually proud of some of em. but for some reason, I don't feel the same way for this.< !signature--> As i wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR [This message has been edited by acire (edited 09-22-2000).] |
||
|
Jacman Member
since 2000-06-27
Posts 291Dwight Il, US |
My heart goes out to you, truly it does. Not often do we find true peace in the arms of another person. And when we do and we fall in love, it is almost fatal to lose that. I hope that things work out and that you can get a peace and reasurance with self esteem. This is a great poem. jason I'm not concieted...I'm convinced. |
||
|
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
thanks Jacman. i do know wha you mean. I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
||
|
~*Meghan*~ Junior Member
since 2000-05-22
Posts 17 |
What an awesome peom! What a excellent and powerfull way to express yourself! I hope all is well in the future! "All Good Things Come To An End"... Best Wishes, and love ~*Meghan*~ |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
