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Teen Poetry #3
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Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

0 posted 2000-09-16 03:03 AM


Gardener:


I have no perception of love.
Lost boy wonder lands.
Where did it all start, this clown parade?
It's all a scattered puzzle
And some pieces seem to be missing.

The coach won't put me in the game
Though I've practiced as hard as the rest.
A fair chance?
Does that exist on this confused continent
That doesn't even know what to call itself.

I'm walking by my past and looking on to the future
Where all I see is a plateau of sorrow.
Nothing serves to protect my dirty mirror memories.
I'm the one who plants the garden of earthly delights.
So I grab my rake and shovel,
And gather time in my own personal pale
To live on with me, myself, and I.


I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.


© Copyright 2000 Pepe de la Muerte - All Rights Reserved
anomaly187
Member
since 2000-06-15
Posts 284
San Francisco,CA,US
1 posted 2000-09-16 02:57 PM


i think there is definately a change from the 3rd batch and the 4th..all these poems (including this one) are full of so much meaning and are really deep..it shows your work improving..and you started out being great so just keep em coming.

"'I am the the lizard king
I can do anything
I can make the earth stop in its tracks
I made the blue cars go away

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
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San Juan, Puerto Rico
2 posted 2000-09-16 04:21 PM


Anomaly, it seems you analyze well. Yes the 3rd batch is pretty deep in it's own sense. A more straight forward sense of deepness. I dont really know how to explain the difference from batches, and waves, and so on, but I do know that the 4th Wave concintrates with a topic more along the lines of society. I start to use phrases like "clown parade", and "dirty mirror memories". I haven't let go on those styled words. I love poems like that. Anyway, this is only the beginning! Glad you liked!



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.


Jenn Cirrincione
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since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107
Fl
3 posted 2000-09-16 04:40 PM


Very interesting. I read it once and none of it quite clicked, but after the second time, it flowed better. Your style is different, definitly something to grow accustomed to, but it's good.
Jenn


"He's mastered the art, of looking sincere, his eyes have a way, of making you stay, don't look in the mirror"- Chely Wright

Child of the Stars
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since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
4 posted 2000-09-16 05:44 PM



  In the words of the great cheerleaders.."like, WOW and stuff!" This poem took over my mind. I really enjoy this 4th wave although I connected more with the previous one, these poems just make me think. Once again, bravo.

  ~Carly

Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars.

Erin
Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527
~Chicago~
5 posted 2000-09-17 01:20 AM


Dopey~~~You are extremely talented...You can see the change from your poems...I hope that there is a 5th batch out there just dying to get out on the computer screen...LOL Not laughing at you but at what I wrote...Keep it up buddy!!!

~*If I was to die & could be 1 thing I would be a tear born in your eyes live on your cheeks and die on your lips*~

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