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Teen Poetry #3
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My Hidden Soul (I hope ppl like this)
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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My Hidden Soul (I hope ppl like this) |
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Falmeblade New Member
since 2000-04-03
Posts 7Boise, ID |
My Hidden Soul A lot of people know not who I am Many not caring or giving a damn That I can do many things, perhaps not right But I still feel fairly bright Till I am chastised for completing my task in an incorrect way That way is yours, not mine, so there it shall stay. Those that know me best may not know me at all They try to prove, the do it over and over, but I shall bring their fall For they know not of my ‘secret life’ and what I go through In that life, I’m no longer ‘dull’, my life has meaning and rings true I struggle with odds, I have something to protect. In that life, I am the knight I truly wanted to be. I am great, I am honored, respected, bowed to as should I to thee. I wield several blades of courage, wit, and might So that I try to save thee and me from an ever-present plight. There is no room for that life in this modern world of ours So I waste away feeling sad, lonely, and my face sours Is there no hope left for me, with my dream of better times With friends that depress me and try to tell me about the me that is lies No! I shalt not fall before thee, for I am that knight in disguise! You are the ones whom shall bend knee to me! What an ironic surprise! …but what am I but an honorable mercenary without a queen? Will she ever come to me, or shall she hide behind a screen? I won’t let them bring me to their level anymore, but my queen, your champion is lost, send out a word before in agony I scream…. tsorovan shan misain ye!!!!!! I am the lord of storms!!! Dovie'andi se tovya sagain It's time to roll the dice |
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anomaly187 Member
since 2000-06-15
Posts 284San Francisco,CA,US |
wow this was great!..i really loved all the imagary you used...and it even had deep meaning!..well this was an excelent first piece and i look foward to reading furhtur works...and in the middle section of the poem it is definately out of a dream...but kick reality's butt with strength in yourself and individualism...i am probably starting to sound corny...anyway won't go into why... Now night arrives with her purple legions Retire now to your tents & to your dreams Tomorrow we enter the town of my birth I want to be ready. - JM |
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Lani_DarkOne Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 152UK |
WOWOWOWOW!!!hehe..doesn't that sound inarticualte?! But Falmeblade..THIS IS ABSOLUTLELY BRILLIANT!!! I can understand every bit of how you feel..can I print this out? "With friends that depress me and try to tell me about the me that is lies.." The whole thing is..I dunno..phenomenal or something...WELCOME TO PASSIONS..I look forward to seeing more work from you..  "Controlling my feelings for too long.... And forcing our darkest souls to unfold... And pushing us into self-destruction...." *~Muse*~ |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Welcome to Passions Falmeblade! We are very happy you have decided to join our community of poetry friendship. We look forward to having you share your efforts with us and please keep in mind that we are very supportive of each other. The pleasure you receive from reading comments on your work is the same pleasure others need by receiving your comments on theirs. This is a rule that all poets here follow. We invite you to join the family! This was an excellent first post ... wonderful imagery and expression! I hope to read more of your poetry and your responses to our wonderful family of poets! (check your e-mail for a special message) Best wishes, /Kit |
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Falmeblade New Member
since 2000-04-03
Posts 7Boise, ID |
Thank you all for your support, I didn't think that I would get such a wonderful response! btw, I would just like to mention that this is only the first PART of this piece, it is incomplete and in the second part I will try to unjumble some feelings that this first part expresses. Thanx Falmeblade tsorovan shan misain ye!!!!!! I am the lord of storms!!! Dovie'andi se tovya sagain It's time to roll the dice |
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DragonFang Senior Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 522Missouri, USA |
'ey bob. Finaly got ya to post something eh? OH,and stop looking at DBZ sites in computer engineering class :P *is the one who introduced 'em here to the passionate forums*  Anyway, nice work, but if you worry Steph w/ something like this again I'm gonna bop you."Sa souvraya niende missian ye." \ I am lost in my own mind. |
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