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Teen Poetry #3
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throwing hands
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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throwing hands |
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Jose Marti Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 374washing DC |
puches, futile kicks, useless the grapple, near suicidal Index finger pointed at the sky, the rest curled back. blocks, weak parries, inadequete weapons, unreachable technique, unlearnable a new type of frustration manifests itself arms, broken veins, ruptured ribs, cracked liver, bleeding the opponent laughs as my life force seeps into the gutter |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jose Marti - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Kandi Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 354North of Hell |
Wow. This was very interestingly formatted and worded. I really like the idea behind it and the way you express it. Very powerful. Great work!  Much Love ~Kris~ ~*Things you see the way you see them will never be seen again*~ ~*When does something that you thought was so right slap you in the face and becom |
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Jose Marti Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 374washing DC |
thanks, I wrote this to comemerate my rejection from a kung fu school in chinatown, that I wanted to attend. As I was writing this, I recalled the last time I was beaten up (it's been a while) |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
Jose~~~Why would a school reject you???Where are you from anyways??? the opponent laughs as my life force seeps into the gutter Such a choice of words...Nice work!!! ~*If I was to die & could be 1 thing I would be a tear born in your eyes live on your cheeks and die on your lips*~ |
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Lucius Cade Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 235Saskatchewan |
Whoa, this poem was cool. I really liked it. Beautifully done. Lucidity is the answer to all problems |
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Jose Marti Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 374washing DC |
Erin~ I'm Cuban, but I live in washington DC I don't know why for sure but I have an idea. Lucious~Thanks I'm glad you liked it. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
This is by far the best thing I have read from you. I liked this a lot buddy. A LOT! So yea, i thought it was very original and cool.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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