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Teen Poetry #3
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Ender
Member
since 1999-12-08
Posts 200
Yuma, AZ USA

0 posted 2000-09-12 10:44 PM


Something exists within you
A feeling that is strong
And true
You seem to reach out
And show your true love
Your true side
And self
You become more beautiful
More human
Your feelings become recognized
And understood
Because somehow
You have changed
More for the better
All for the good


*I am not one to be feared. I am one that should be loved forever. -Ender*

© Copyright 2000 Richard Melick - All Rights Reserved
Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
1 posted 2000-09-12 10:48 PM


Oh, I really like this one Ender, great writing!
Erin
Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527
~Chicago~
2 posted 2000-09-13 06:52 PM


I like this one...

But the last 2 lines dont sound right...

More for the better
All for the good

You should take out the word more...It just doesnt sound right!!!But its your poem so dont listen to me!!!


~*If I was to die & could be 1 thing I would be a tear born in your eyes live on your cheeks and die on your lips*~

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