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Teen Poetry #3
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The Darker Side of Suicide
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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The Darker Side of Suicide |
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Lucius Cade Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 235Saskatchewan |
Darkness, black to the pitch Frozen by an unknown feeling, every inch Blind? Paralyzed? Cursed? NO!!!!! This is the end, the worst of the worst The darkness, transorms into a vision of hell A vision, soon to be known all too well For what seems like months, you attempt to defend Against the dark creatures, that attack to no end Now invisible fingers grip your arm like a vice Shaking in pain, your colder than ice You come to, on some sort of moving device Then a voice makes you jump, "NOW WILL SUFFICE!" The wall opens up, 50 feet your are thrown Looking up you see Satan himself, on a throne Which seems constructed of carcass and bone It screams "YOU FOOL!" in a deafening tone "why am i here?" you ask as loud as you dare "BY YOUR OWN FAULT!" it yells, with a glare You try to remember, but your mind is erased What did you do to end up in this place? To your dread you remember, your thoughts coincide It roars "THATS WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU COMMIT SUICIDE!" < !signature--> Lucidity is the answer to all problems [This message has been edited by Lucius Cade (edited 09-11-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Lucius Cade - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Virgin Suïcide Member
since 2000-08-11
Posts 319Netherlands |
Just a question, why should anyone be punished if he/she commited suïcide? isn't it like those ppl have got a life that was worse enough? they want to escape a world which is a hell to them already, so they want to go to a place where they can rest, a peaceful, serene place...so no hell at all... like there is something like a hell or heaven...I wouldnt know myself, but i don't think that everyone shall be punished if he/she commits suïcide...Just my opinion... dunno if you're serious thinking that commiting suïcide is a threat that's not ethic or sumthin.... love, Virgin Suïcide (hehe,  )< !signature-->I dream about how it's gonna end Approaching me quickly Living a life of fear I only want my mind to be clear... ~*~silverchair, suicidal dream~*~ [This message has been edited by Virgin Suïcide (edited 09-11-2000).] |
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brendon2k Junior Member
since 2000-05-11
Posts 38none |
really good poem jesse, I really liked this one. A bit different but still very interesting, overall great poem! |
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anomaly187 Member
since 2000-06-15
Posts 284San Francisco,CA,US |
hey man , well i liked the way you wrote the poem..and it flowed well enough..but being an athiest(and even if i wasn't one) i disagree with the whole thing..that you'd have to go to "hell." Now night arrives with her purple legions Retire now to your tents & to your dreams Tomorrow we enter the town of my birth I want to be ready. - JM |
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Lucius Cade Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 235Saskatchewan |
Virgin suicide - I beleive that no matter what this world is doing to you, you should never commit suicide. No matter what, because even if your life is worse than hell, it doesnt give you the grounds to take your own life. And Anomaly, I am also an athiest, I dont really beleive in heaven or hell or Satan or God, but I just came up with a good idea so I put it in the form of a poem. I dont think you would go to hell if you commited suicide, but you definitly shouldnt do it anyways. Lucidity is the answer to all problems |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
Lucius~~~I am amazed...This is just perfect...WOW!!!  And I would have to agree with you about what you said to Virgin...Sins are forgiven all sins even murder (in my eyes)...But the one sin that isnt is suicide...But thats only my opinion there are people who would probably disagree with me... Keep up the great work!!! ~*YoU cAn CoMpLaIn CuZ rOsEs HaVe ThOrNs Or ReJoIcE cUz ThOrNs HaVe RoSeS*~ |
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Allysa 
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
Amazing. I agree with ERIN, all sins are forgiven. Powerful poem, with a sense of rhyme, like it much. Don't wander throught this glassy surface, expecting to find more than me, because what I am without a purpose, but a lone mirage to see. |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Hey! I loved the poem. The rhymes fit so well with the rhythm of the poem. I liked it..a lot. And even though I don't agree with yours and some other people's ideas on sin and Satan I'm not gonna go into all that. Once again, loved the poem. ~Carly Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
It's good to see the athiests bonding. Anyway, I loved the poem. I loved the way it was written and the wording was great. NO QUESTIONS ON THIS ONE hahahaha. Keep it up  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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StarPryncess17 Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932Colorado |
At the risk of sounding like a hypocrite, I say no one should ever even consider suicide as an option for anything!! I know that I got lucky, and the saddest part was that when I tried, I truly wanted to die, but after it all, I was soo happy that I did survive, made me think about the people who didn't get so lucky < !signature--> anyways, wonderfully written. I have my own poem about suicide, but it's more of a personal experience rather than in general. As far as religion goes, I don't know what I believe. I sure do have a lot of reasons not to believe...but I don't know, there will always be a shadow of a doubt in my mind. I too agree with Erin, all sins are to be forgiven...Love Always ~*~Jessica~*~ If aLl My FrIeNdS JuMpEd OfF a BrIdGe, I WoUlDn'T JuMp WiTH ThEm BeCaUsE I'd Be At ThE bOtToM tO CaTcH ThEm. [This message has been edited by StarPryncess17 (edited 09-11-2000).] |
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Ender Member
since 1999-12-08
Posts 200Yuma, AZ USA |
Another great poem with awsome style. keep up the good work *Blonde people are normal. Everyone else is just strange. -Ender* |
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qtpieelmo Senior Member
since 2000-07-04
Posts 989Sesame Street :) hee hee ,NY |
Wow, Yea I love the last verse. It is so true. Great poem, I'm totally speechless (that's odd 4 me) lol LOVE ELMO |
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