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Teen Poetry #3
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untitled.....read it and suggest a name or something
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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untitled.....read it and suggest a name or something |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI 
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Did you ever wonder why a rose is called a rose? Do you ever slow down enough to feel the grass beneath your toes? Have you ever tried to test how far your dreams can go? Will you ever notice that your love ceases to flow? Did you ever try to make everything your own? Do you ever see how much your child has grown? Have you ever turned away from truth you have been shown? Will you ever piece together the heart that has been blown? Did you ever, for no reason, just sit down and cry? Do you ever turn away so not to say goodbye? Have you ever failed to see, or even failed to try? Will you ever wonder why your father had to lie? Did you ever weep for the children dying on this earth? Do you ever lower another's low self-worth? Have you ever watched the ocean's roaring surf? Will you ever know the reason for your birth? Did you ever fail to feel the magic of a kiss? Do you ever shoot for the moon but hit the stars and miss? Have you ever thought that ignorance is bliss? Will you ever pay attention to poems such as this? |
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| © Copyright 2000 Carly Anne Van Dort - All Rights Reserved | |||
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MoonPrincess Junior Member
since 2000-07-17
Posts 29Wisconsin, USA |
I think you should call your poem "DID YOU EVER?" just because every stanza starts with those 3 words... It's a wonderful poem... I look forward to more of your work... ~MoonPrincess "Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear." |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
Welcome to passions!!!I hope that you enjoy it here!!! I think that you should call it "Ever"...I mean you do say Did you ever but not all the lines begin with that...But its just my opinion... ~*YoU cAn CoMpLaIn CuZ rOsEs HaVe ThOrNs Or ReJoIcE cUz ThOrNs HaVe RoSeS*~ |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Welcome to Passions! We are very happy you have decided to join our community of poetry friendship. We look forward to having you share your efforts with us and please keep in mind that we are very supportive of each other. The pleasure you receive from reading comments on your work is the same pleasure others need by receiving your comments on theirs. This is a rule that all poets here follow. We invite you to join the family! This is a wonderful first post Child of the Stars! Oh how I do love questions ... I question everything, much enjoyed this I did. I hope to read more of your poetry and your responses to our wonderful family of poets! (check your e-mail for a special message) Best wishes, /Kit |
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Virgin Suïcide Member
since 2000-08-11
Posts 319Netherlands |
hmz...I really liked it too....And I think something like "ever" could be a good title... hope to read more of your stuff later! love, Virgin Suïcide... "I love the way you love, but I hate the way, I'm supposed to love you back..." Love is hard to live... Try to live life in love.... |
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StarPryncess17 Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932Colorado |
Hello Child! What a wonderful poem. If you're looking for answers, I have to say yes to every single question! < !signature--> LoL anyways, you are very talented. I know that you will enjoy your stay here. Passions is a wonderful place. My sanctuary...Keep it up I can't wait to read more. Love Always ~*~Pryncess Jess~*~ ~*~  If aLl My FrIeNdS JuMpEd OfF a BrIdGe, I WoUlDn'T JuMp WiTH ThEm BeCaUsE I'd Be At ThE bOtToM tO CaTcH ThEm. ~*~[This message has been edited by StarPryncess17 (edited 09-09-2000).] |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Hey Child of the Stars.....yes well let me tell you that I loved the poem. Like, beyond loved......yea like my mind quivers to the thought of every word on it. I liked it a lot. I will not suggest a title for your poem because I believe that you wrote the poem, so you come up with the title. That's just the way I work. Anyway, kick ass. Post up more....i like what you got so far.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Lani_DarkOne Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 152UK |
BRILLIANT..I enjoyed ever questioning sentence..it really 'opens the mind'... Welcome to Passion Child of the Stars(like your name)..hope you enjoy it here..  "Controlling my feelings for too long.... And forcing our darkest souls to unfold... And pushing us into self-destruction...." *~Muse*~ |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Hello everyone and much thanks to you!! I did not expect so many replies. I have not yet decided what to title the poem, but some inspiration will come. Thank you again for your praise. If anyone has ways I could make this better, please tell me!! I'm always looking for constructive criticism. I thank all of you for your welcomes and warm hearts. I look forward to a long stay here. ~Carly Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars. |
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