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Teen Poetry #3
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Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

0 posted 2000-09-07 05:37 PM


OK yes well i posted this poem up in another forum about a week ago. I don't think this is against the forum regulation (to post up the same poem more than once for the whole membership time span). Anyway, here you go. Written in elizabethan and yea. Inspired by my Ex-girlfriend and a certain incident while she was my gf (please no advice on anything, just read the poem and critic it). Hahaha so anyway Hope you likez.

Saving To Die:

Tis the hate O lord, that comsumes thy soul
Tis the ignorance of thee that betrays human whole
Tis the passion of thy heart that plunges thy mind
Yet in thy heart love you'll soon find.

O kinsman, O brother, your ways but amuse me
O kinsman, O brother it is the heart that kills thee
O kinsman, O brother ,
Your life is but a game.
O kinsman, Or another,
It will never be the same.

O lord but thou hath no sense in reason
Tis spring, time of love, not a time of treason.
O lord if thou permit me, I must imply
That this thief,raper, killer is but a fly
Buzzing and bizzing among our food
Trying to but make us have a bad mood.

O kinsman, thou doth know logic of life
I will abide to thee to with hold my death knife.
Tis thee who hath love in this black hearted rat
So tis thee who will die, how about that?





I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.


© Copyright 2000 Pepe de la Muerte - All Rights Reserved
Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
1 posted 2000-09-07 10:08 PM


I havent received posts for this poem, dont let it slip by por favor. That would suck!



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.


MoonPrincess
Junior Member
since 2000-07-17
Posts 29
Wisconsin, USA
2 posted 2000-09-07 11:10 PM


Now, Dopey, do you think I would let this just slip by??? It's a wonderful poem, and nothing that I would've expected from you... (no offense, I promise you...)  Very good job, and I won't give advice, cuz I know how you feel....
Love,
MoonPrincess


"Love begins with a smile,
grows with a kiss,
and ends with a tear."

StarPryncess17
Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932
Colorado
3 posted 2000-09-08 11:04 AM


Since I talk too much, I shall put my few cents in also. This was wonderful Dopey! I love the Elizabethan touch! It makes the poem so interesting. Keep it up!! and since I am posting a reply, you have a simple *bump* from me.  
Love Always
~*~Jessica~*~
< !signature-->

   If aLl My FrIeNdS JuMpEd OfF a BrIdGe, I WoUlDn'T JuMp WiTH ThEm BeCaUsE I'd Be At ThE bOtToM tO CaTcH ThEm.  



[This message has been edited by StarPryncess17 (edited 09-08-2000).]

jytree
Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 336
omaha ark usa
4 posted 2000-09-08 12:48 PM


I liked it

For when day turn to night I am still there
The fallen angel jytree

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
5 posted 2000-09-08 06:28 PM


I think out of all the replies I liked jytree's the most. So simple! hahahaha yes anyway thanks!



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.


Child of the Stars
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
6 posted 2000-09-09 01:35 PM



  I love this...the wording choices are so deep, so thoughtful. Kudos to you, Dopey!!

  ~carly

Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars.

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