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Teen Poetry #3
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Pixie-Babe03
Member
since 2000-08-29
Posts 387
Central Maine

0 posted 2000-09-05 06:03 PM


Being in love brings torture and pain,
a pounding deep inside my brain.

What to do or where to go,
i guess that i will never know.

Should i leave or should i stay,
time goes mby like a slow boring play.

I could wait around for a sign,
to decide if you should stay mine.

I know i shouldn't push myself away,
but should i leave or should i stay.

I guess that question will remain this way,
Shouls I Leave or Should I Stay?


© Copyright 2000 Justine - All Rights Reserved
Erin
Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527
~Chicago~
1 posted 2000-09-05 06:15 PM


Good poem Pixie!!!I like the way you wrote it...How you made them rhyme at the end of each sentence!!!Keep up the good work!!!

~*~TrUe LoVe Is ThE cLoSeSt ThInG tO hEaVen~*~


Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
2 posted 2000-09-05 07:02 PM


I thought the poem was really good. But i disagree with the first two lines. What i have figured out through life is that being in love does not bring pain. It brings about only GOOD and nothing bad along with it. What is bad, and what does cause pain is UNREQUITED love and the feeling of absency of the feeling LOVE. See, when you're in a relationship and you truly feel the feeling of LOVE, it's nothing but great. There is no negative aspect of love. NOw, the opposite of love is when you do not feel it, duh!! So yea, that hurts like a (*#&(&@ <-- use imagination.
Yea see, so when you fight.....you just feel unloved, or you dont feel as if he/she is loving you and thus the absence of love takes place. So on and so forth bla bla bla. I just didnt agree with the first two lines, I like to be elaborate, and specific and to the most complete detail when it comes to love. Doesn't match my definition. Maybe it does yours, but not mine. Sorry, this was NOT hostile, i DO respect your poem and your thoughts. Great poem! So yea, dont get mad at me like other people do. I have learned to state that i am NOT being HOSTILE....cuz people take it the wrong way. I just feel a need to state my opinion. Anyway best of luck to you!



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.


Pixie-Babe03
Member
since 2000-08-29
Posts 387
Central Maine
3 posted 2000-09-05 07:35 PM


Dopey_Dope*~
i would never hold a grudge because of what someone says about my poem, i respect other peoples thoughts and i like to know their thoughts on my work   thnak you for the elaboration adn i am glad you liked my poem  
~*Pixie*~

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