navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #3 » Dreams of Love
Teen Poetry #3
Post A Reply Post New Topic Dreams of Love Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Moon_Hunter
New Member
since 2000-09-04
Posts 7


0 posted 2000-09-04 01:03 AM


This poem is about a girl I wanted to date named Lindsay.  I gave her this poem on the day I graduated, though nothing happened.  She never even said a single thing about it.  Well here it is.

                                   She
Her voice
Her laughter
Like a romantic song
Playing in the evening night

The smile upon her face
More beautiful than the stars
Radiant
Perfect

Her eyes
Like Cupid's arrow
Has pierced my heart
Has pierced my soul

Like a summer's night dream
She has entered my mind
And danced her way into my heart

© Copyright 2000 Moon_Hunter - All Rights Reserved
Erin
Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527
~Chicago~
1 posted 2000-09-04 03:50 AM


Welcome to passions!!!I hope that you enjoy it here as much as I do!!!

The poem is really good...I cant wait to see more of your work...So about this girl...How does it make you feel that she didnt say anything???Why dont you give her a call???She sounds like she was really special to you!!!

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
2 posted 2000-09-04 09:05 AM


Welcome to Passions!

We are very happy you have decided to join our community of poetry friendship. We look forward to having you share your efforts with us and please keep in mind that we are very supportive of each other. The pleasure you receive from reading comments on your work is the same pleasure others need by receiving your comments on theirs. This is a rule that all poets here follow. We invite you to join the family!

This is a wonderful first post! The flow is just lovely, and your sentiments so tender and beautiful. I hope you're able to connect with her along the way.

I hope to read more of your poetry and your responses to our wonderful family of poets! (check your e-mail for a special message)

Best wishes,
/Kit

LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

3 posted 2000-09-04 10:45 AM


Welcome to Passions!

This is a beautiful and heart-felt piece. I would melt in a guy's arms if he gave this to me. If she read this and didn't feel anything, well, she doesn't deserve you.

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde
"The robbed that smiles steals something from the thief" -Shakespea

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
4 posted 2000-09-04 10:53 AM


Welcome to Passions
This is a great entrance into the teen forum, it's a wonderful poem.  Thanks for the chance to read it, I can't wait to see more!

Moon_Hunter
New Member
since 2000-09-04
Posts 7

5 posted 2000-09-04 11:21 AM


Thanks
Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
6 posted 2000-09-04 12:17 PM


welcome to passions!!!
short and sweet.  That girl probably ended up speechless.  It's either that or she ain't got no heart.  They don't realize how hard it is for us guys to do even simple things like that for a girl.
I'd love to read more of your work.  

As i wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR

StarPryncess17
Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932
Colorado
7 posted 2000-09-04 03:15 PM


What a great addition to our little family!
Welcome!!
You are very talented, and your work is excellent!
This poem was great! I can't wait for more!
Keep 'em coming!
Love Always
~*~Jessica~*~


~*~If aLl My FrIeNdS JuMpEd OfF a BrIdGe, I WoUlDn'T JuMp WiTH ThEm BeCaUsE I'd Be At ThE bOtToM tO CaTcH ThEm.:)~*~

MoonPrincess
Junior Member
since 2000-07-17
Posts 29
Wisconsin, USA
8 posted 2000-09-05 11:19 PM


Such a good first post... I'm sorry that you didn't hear anything, but if it makes you feel better, I loved this poem, and would've said something had it been meant for me... Wonderful job, and keep up the good work...
~Kristi


"Love begins with a smile,
grows with a kiss,
and ends with a tear."

silentsky
Member
since 2000-08-09
Posts 114

9 posted 2000-09-06 01:11 AM


i like your poem a whole lot...
lots of emotion. and she said nothing?
if someone gave me a poem like that i can imagine being speechless but no reaction?? thats just screwed up  
welcome
shira

Lovely_Kris
Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 176

10 posted 2000-09-06 05:10 PM


Hello and welcome to passions. I think yuor poem is very good and i really enjoyed it. Thankx for sharing it and I hope to read more. Keep up the great work.
Lovely_Kris

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #3 » Dreams of Love

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary