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Teen Poetry #3
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Suga_Baby
Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380
Maine, USA

0 posted 2000-09-03 11:14 AM



The walls are closing in on me;
I have no place to go.

The walls are closing in on me;
I’ve nothing left to show.

The walls are closing in on me;
but do you even know?

If these walls could talk,
do you know what they would say?
“Just do it you whimp.
You have nothing to lose.
It’s your dignity or him
and you’ve got to choose.”

The walls are closing in on me;
I have to make the choice.

The walls are closing in on me;
“Hurry!” says that haunting voice.

The walls are closing in on me;
God DAMMIT I hate boys!

I am trapped: What will it be?
I guess, ladies and gentlemen,
we’ll just have to see.
The show goes on,
and so does life.
Those stupid boys
cause too much strife!
Who wants them?
Who needs them?
Oh wait... that’d be me...
I guess we’ll just have to see.

OK so this is by FAR the most SCREWED up poem I have ever written... please let me know what you think  

© Copyright 2000 Sara - All Rights Reserved
Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
1 posted 2000-09-03 01:37 PM


Holy! You know what? I think im a fan of yours hahaha your hella good. I love the style and format. I love the redundancy of the line "the walls are closing in on me" and "we'll just have to see"......i love it. I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!! Ok im going to go psycho and my eye sockets will explode and so will my brain. Yes i love it that much. You rock.....you better post more up before i get weary with the absenscy of your poems. hahaha....seriously....post more. BYE!!



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.


Isabel Galaxia
Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733

2 posted 2000-09-03 02:16 PM


Hey!  That was really good.  Veeeery interesting to say the least  .  Yeah, boys are irritating.  But we put up with it aye?  Good luck, keep it up
Bel

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
3 posted 2000-09-03 02:24 PM


You must have a really bad experience with boys/guys for you to hate us.  Please don't generalize, cause not all are the same.  Girls do the same thing too you know.  If you wanna know how guys feel too, i had 2 reposts about how guys feel, read em, this might help you change your mind about us.  hopefully it does  

Well, with regards to the poem, I like your style.  It's really good.  Hope things get better.  

As i wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR

Salooma
Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781

4 posted 2000-09-03 06:41 PM


Woaa...this was strong....it's a nice poem. Interesting thoughts, but to tell you the truth, forget about boys for a while. Live your life and when a good one comes along then you will know. Don't worry about them for now, you will find you could leave at absoulute peace without haven't to deal with em...eventually you'll find one that won't make you work as hard.  

Salma

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
5 posted 2000-09-04 12:22 PM


I really liked this poem, even if you do say it's screwed up   Nice writting here, keep it up.
DragonFang
Senior Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 522
Missouri, USA
6 posted 2000-09-04 01:02 PM


I love it, the style, the flow, it's beautiful. But ya know, I was just thinking the same thing, about females though ~_~ oh well, great poem, hope to read more.

"Sa souvraya niende missian ye." \
I am lost in my own mind.

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