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Teen Poetry #3
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Lone Insomniac
Junior Member
since 2000-08-05
Posts 45


0 posted 2000-09-02 02:54 PM


well I've been away for a while, I see a lot of new names around here and I didn't stop writing all the time I wasn't here, sooo I have a lot of stuff to show you..I really like this poem myself...
Hope U do too
greetz, Robin


These stars that shine, above
Sitting here, can’t get enough
Like the trees that grow out of the ground
I just sit and stop making a sound

When the violence comes above
I just doubt if this is enough
Like the leafs that fall to the ground
Dying people stopped making a sound

Close your eyes and take the fall
but you can’t stop embracing it all
Like your footsteps land on the ground
When you fall you stop making a sound

Everyone on the cliff wait by fall
We can’t say goodbye, loving it all
Like our beliefs stay in the ground
The voices of our gods stopped making their sound

Our utter emotions rise above
Destroying the thing we call our love
Hating eachother it’s never enough
So I stare to the stars above...

The balance of a dead planet comes above...

© Copyright 2000 Lone Insomniac - All Rights Reserved
Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
1 posted 2000-09-02 03:02 PM


Hey wow, i really liked this poem. I think the last line was a great touch, very creative. The balance of the dead planet. WOAH! HAHAHAHA!!!!! I loved it. Keep posting!



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.


Erin
Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527
~Chicago~
2 posted 2000-09-02 03:05 PM


The last line was perfect!!!Along with the rest of the poem...I cant wait to see more of your work!!!

~*~TrUe LoVe Is ThE cLoSeSt ThInG tO hEaVen~*~


Nikkisweet
Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 183
Tx, Dallas
3 posted 2000-09-02 04:21 PM


This is great!  My favorite part:  
     "Close your eyes and take the fall
      but you can't stop embracing it all"

You have a way with words  

Within you I lose myself.
Without you I find myself wanting to become lost again.
-unkown-

LyricFetish
Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 528
North Carolina
4 posted 2000-09-02 05:15 PM


Now this I like. I am really in love w/ your poem. Toward the end, your wording was just unbelievably awesome! Keep up the great work, my friend.

*~Meredith~*

I'll just keep on laughing,
Hiding the tears in my eyes...
*Oleander

sweetstuff101
Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 375
OK, USA
5 posted 2000-09-02 08:52 PM


wow! that was awesome, you have some talent. well great poem, keep writing!

Luv,
~*~sweetstuff~*~


~¤*¤~iF yOu LuV sOmEoNe, PuT ThEiR nAmE iN a CiRcLe, iNsTeAd Of A hEaRt, BcUz HeArTz CaN bReAk, BuT CiRcLeZ gO oN 4eVeR~¤*¤~



Angel
Senior Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 551
Pennsylvania
6 posted 2000-09-02 09:19 PM


Hey, good to see you back  . I really like this poem. There is a lot of depth and your wording was really good. I can't wait to see more  .

~Susie


"Do you love me because I am beautiful, or am I beautiful because you love me?"
~Cinderella


Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
7 posted 2000-09-03 08:39 AM


Great to see some more from you Robin! Very nicely woven ... with an intriguing message, well done!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

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