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Salooma
Senior Member

since 2000-01-28

Posts 781

0 posted 2000-09-02 11:06 AM

What You Are?

You claim a life, you've already lived.
As nothing could do you wrong.
And yet to me you seem to be burned-out,
Broken-hearted, head-long.

As a mother, I see you nurturing,
Proud and utterly careful.
But I see beyond all that,
I see the worries that push and pull.

There's a flame, I see in those eyes.
Somewhere deep withen you quiet.
Burning low, too scared to be ignited.
Too anxious to be kindled by the ending roit.

Motives, where are your motives?
As if your soul, it's gone dry.
Skin touched with a tremble.
Eyes met, no too shy.

Breaks in words and no exclusion,
Makes me think all these are lies.
Or are you hurting inside and screaming.
And just avoiding my oblivious whys?

Sad to see this woman's journey,
No chance I see survives.
Sad to see your young heart whithering,
Can't keep waiting for it to fearlessly die.

Are you in pain?
But can't feel the wounds?
Or are you just in fear of truth?

Can't be your conscience lurking.
You've already lost tht in the fight.
To the man in dark clothing.
Who on you, turned down the lights.

What can cure you dear saint?
When no words can I make.
That could grant you your history.
The history that'll give and take.

Take away the utter pain.
And give you your life back.
Sing to you a song of praise.
Bring you all you think you lack.

Come back again.
No more worries.
No more hurt.
Just the thought of life.

Life as it is.
In good and bad.
In its happines,
And in its complete sadness!

8-26-00

[This message has been edited by Ron (06-25-2011 10:05 AM).]

Jacman
Member

since 2000-06-27

Posts 291
Dwight Il, US

1 posted 2000-09-02 01:35 PM

Sometimes I read a good poem and I don't know what to say because it has left me silent. This is one of them.

jason

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

2 posted 2000-09-02 02:18 PM

Nice poem eh? I liked it a lot. Anyway keep it up and i'll be looking forward to your poems on the forum. If you don't post anymore up, then i'll be mad. MWHAHAHA!!!!!!

so yea post up!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Erin
Member Elite

since 2000-06-15

Posts 2527
~Chicago~

3 posted 2000-09-02 02:19 PM

Salma~~~I love it girl!!!It may be kinda long but I dont mind...Keep up the good work!!!I cant wait to see more poems by you!!!

~*~TrUe LoVe Is ThE cLoSeSt ThInG tO hEaVen~*~

Lone Insomniac
Junior Member

since 2000-08-05

Posts 45

4 posted 2000-09-02 03:13 PM

Hey this uhm...a very..uhm LONG POEM !!
no jusr kiddin, I liked it a lot, I write myself a lot of very long poems, I think too much people don't take the time to read them...
well i did...and I think it's great, when you're reading it, it doesn't bother you that it's so long...I kept reading nice work and I hope to see more poems...long poems !!

greetz Robinn =)

Salooma
Senior Member

since 2000-01-28

Posts 781

5 posted 2000-09-03 06:58 PM

Jacman ~ Thanks so much, you have no clue what a comment like that means to me

Dopey_Dope ~ Glad you liked it, I hope to be posting more and more.

ERIN ~ I actually didn't realize how long this was until I posted it, but I guess I gotta change em once in a while.

Lone Insomniac ~ It is a long variety and I know not a lot of ppl read em, thanks for reading this one

Salma

Kit McCallum

Administrator

Member Laureate

since 2000-04-30

Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada

6 posted 2000-09-04 08:25 AM

I really enjoyed this Salma! You delved deeply into another's mind and analyzed with wonderful insight. Really well done!

Best wishes,
/Kit

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