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Teen Poetry #3
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jeremydraul
Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118
State of Despair

0 posted 2000-08-28 12:22 PM


More Than This

These cliché poems,
Flow all our minds,
Expressed feelings,
In different kinds,
We need more than this,
Melodramatic rhymes,

Love is something great,
Love is very unique,
But can't we create,
Other ideas to critique,
We need more than this,
Imagine what we can seek,

I’m not putting down,
Poems of love and lost,
Love poems develop sadness,
Happiness isn’t a cost,
We need more than this,
Ideas need to be crossed,

Words fill up heads,
Sparks fly making form,
Shapes and lines become one,
All together in swarm,
We need more than this,
To keep our heats warm,

I develop a frown whenever I read a poem of love, sadness, regrets, depression, or a lost one. I think we need more than that, we need to make ourselves happy. I'm not saying that writing a good love poem is a bad thing, but sometimes we need to reach into our imagination and create something fresh and not so typical. Don’t get the wrong impression! Hope you know what I'm saying.

Always with Love,
~Jeremy~




"I will know where I'm headed, 'cause I'm so tired of the suffering,
I stand before you, a weakened version of your reflection."
~DMX~ "Prayer III"

© Copyright 2000 Jeremy Daniel Raulinaitis - All Rights Reserved
Erin
Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527
~Chicago~
1 posted 2000-08-28 03:30 AM


jeremy~~~why dont you do something about this then...why dont you make a challange...who can write a poem that will put a smile on everyones face...or start one and just let us add to it...sounds like an idea to me...what do you say???

p.s.~~~i love this poem...oppps i said love...should have been like...LOL


~*~TrUe LoVe Is ThE cLoSeSt ThInG tO hEaVen~*~


Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
2 posted 2000-08-28 07:28 AM


Great thoughts Jeremy ... nothing to misinterpret here! It's so nice to read some of the happier thoughts now and again. I love Erin's idea of a challenge. Maybe you could word the Challenge into a poetic post to get us started, and see what everyone else can come up with on their own. Place *Challenge to All* or something in the title so we know ... GREAT idea!!!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
3 posted 2000-08-28 10:14 AM


I agree, great idea here.  This should get some fresh thoughts going into all our minds
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