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Teen Poetry #3
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jeremydraul
Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118
State of Despair

0 posted 2000-08-25 12:21 PM


If blame is the name of the game,
You're the winner and I'm the same.

Standing, pointing a finger at me,
What's so evil in me that you see?

It's your fault that we're now no more,
Bury the hatchet, and open up your door,

Childish actions caused your dismay,
You never thought it would be the day,

When you realize your wrong in confusion,
Our lost lives are past in a state of cruel illusion,

Let's start a fresh beginning with more trust,
No ignorant storms shall let our friendship rust,

This world of give and hate makes us insecure,
Selfish and mindless acts controls you to do more,

Two-faced, take off that mask you hide behind,
I'm me, your not what you use to be inside,

You're a false character, never was trustworthy,
No pride, Is that what you want your name to be?

Choke on the words you speak, I have no time,
Clutters of words,  cloud up in my innocent mind,

You build up walls of anger, always on debate,
Soon you'll be up in smoke in your senseless hate,




"I will know where I'm headed, 'cause I'm so tired of the suffering,
I stand before you, a weakened version of your reflection."
~DMX~ "Prayer III"

© Copyright 2000 Jeremy Daniel Raulinaitis - All Rights Reserved
ShUgArHiGh
Junior Member
since 2000-08-24
Posts 24

1 posted 2000-08-25 01:47 AM


Overall i thought that poem was great. It was intense in the way u expressed things. I liked it!
Erin
Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527
~Chicago~
2 posted 2000-08-25 01:59 AM


jeremy~~~this poem reminds me of my so called sister (who i prefer not to call her a sister)...i really like it...keep up the good work!!!

~*~TrUe LoVe Is ThE cLoSeSt ThInG tO hEaVen~*~


TopGunLauren
Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718
California
3 posted 2000-08-25 02:00 AM


I really enjoying all your poems and I especially loves this one.Keep up the awsome work!
  Lauren

Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden
4 posted 2000-08-25 08:20 AM


Jeremy, I like this a lot~ It's really very real and espically to me. NOt much more to say except great poem! Allysa

Don't wander throught this glassy surface, expecting to find more than me, because what I am without a purpose, but a lone mirage to see.

Salooma
Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781

5 posted 2000-08-25 11:02 AM


Heey babe...nice to see ya back here! Missed ya lots! Great post, very powerful last two lines by the way....it's all quite powerful to tell u the truth....

Salma

*ChrisLover*
Junior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 46
erie, colo
6 posted 2000-08-25 03:07 PM


jeremy..... great poem!! its so true about my life!! wow i can so relate to this!! and i hope the besst for u in the future!! trut me you'll find the one your meant to be with!!!  you should e mail me so we can talk rather than just in here!! k?? you seem like a sweet guy!!
ill talkto you later....
love always,
janette
p.s.  hang in there sweet heart!!

Everything happens for a reason.. sometimes it's bad, but sometime it's good!! just remeber there's people out here who care!

Jenn Cirrincione
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107
Fl
7 posted 2000-08-25 04:18 PM


Do you know me or something? You and my ex should have a party, cause I think that may be what he's feeling, if he put it directly into words. Great poem, and I totally understand what you are saying.
Jenn

LyricFetish
Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 528
North Carolina
8 posted 2000-08-25 07:09 PM


This is excellent! I really, really enjoyed it. You're awesome.

*~Meredith~*

Somebody stop the world,
I want to get off!
*me

StarPryncess17
Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932
Colorado
9 posted 2000-08-26 06:52 PM


one word : WOW! you are amazing! I absolutely loved it! And to say that I can relate is an understatement! This is the story of my life LoL. Anyways before I get started on  that all...you're great! I hope everything works out for the best! Love Always~*~Jessica~*~

~*~Why is it that love always
starts with a HuG
grows with a kIsS
and ends with a TeAr?!?~*~

DancinQueen
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA
10 posted 2000-08-26 07:05 PM


Hey there babe~* You know that I love every piece of your work. This was so powerful and amazing. Just like you   Keep up the great work!!

~!*DQ*!~
< !signature-->

"One fine day you'll look at me and know that love was meant to be"
~Carol King


[This message has been edited by DancinQueen (edited 08-26-2000).]

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
11 posted 2000-08-26 07:32 PM


This is really great   Your emotion was strong in this one, very well done.  Keep up the awesome poetry.

When you realize your wrong in confusion,
Our lost lives are past in a state of cruel illusion,


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