navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #3 » Sleepless Nights (yawn)
Teen Poetry #3
Post A Reply Post New Topic Sleepless Nights (yawn) Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
jeremydraul
Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118
State of Despair

0 posted 2000-08-17 04:29 AM


It's like 4:30 am. I cant sleep. Im bored so I wrote a poem.

Sleepless nights
Shortened dreams
Interupted by silent screams

Darkened room
Mindless thought
Obnoxious noises are fought

Eyes of closure
Smell of air
Wake up, I shouldn't dare

Now I hope
Wish I weep
This poem will put me to sleep


I want feedback but remember its 4:30 am. Take it into consideration.

Love,
,._-=-~^* Jeremy *^~-=-_.,

© Copyright 2000 Jeremy Daniel Raulinaitis - All Rights Reserved
Jeremy Halstead
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 569
Morris, Ill. U.S.A
1 posted 2000-08-17 04:37 AM


SURE!!!!! JUST MAKE EXCUSES!!!!  Just kiddin' with ya man...  This is the type of poem I dare not write...well, I tried once...but it didn't turn out too well...maybe I'll post it sometime.  You nailed the essence man..fine nocturnal work...oh, it's 3:30 were I'm at and I just posted something too...check it out.

Jeremy

"Time is the matter, and in a matter of that all wounds will heal and all scars shall fade."

Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden
2 posted 2000-08-17 12:43 PM


I like this. It's cool. Kind of like some of the poems i've written before. (only not at 4:30 in the morning.
Lurdburger
Junior Member
since 2000-08-05
Posts 39
Carlisle, Cumbria, England
3 posted 2000-08-17 02:48 PM


Hey hey, there's a lot to be said for nocturnal writing. This is good, nice short kinda snapshot idea.
Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
4 posted 2000-08-17 03:39 PM


Ah, I hate not being able to sleep.  Maybe it happend so you could write this great poem!  Nice work
Erin
Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527
~Chicago~
5 posted 2000-08-17 06:09 PM


you know what i hate the most about not being able to fall asleep???that i lay in my bed for hours starring at the clock...this was a good idea for a poem...hey you may not have been able to sleep but something really good came out of it!!! can you guess what that is??? your poem!!!

~*~TrUe LoVe Is ThE cLoSeSt ThInG tO hEaVen~*~


DancinQueen
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA
6 posted 2000-08-17 11:11 PM


Hey babe! LOL Don't I know about those late-nite-spur-of-the-moment poems   Maybe i should start posting mine. This was awesome as usual. Keep up the great work!!

~*~*THIS IS MY 100TH POST! LOL IM EXCITED..JUST THOUGHT ID SHARE*~*~

~!*DQ*!~
< !signature-->

"One fine day you'll look at me and know that love was meant to be"
~Carol King


[This message has been edited by DancinQueen (edited 08-17-2000).]

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
7 posted 2000-08-18 10:25 AM


"sleepless nights
shortened dreams
interupted by silent screams"

That is sooooo well placed...One of the best lines I've read in passions.  

Keep writing

As i wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR

TAP2
Member
since 2000-06-29
Posts 211
Morris, Il USA
8 posted 2000-08-18 12:11 PM


Haven't been in  in a while and kinda stumbled onto this. I believe you have an exceptional talent, as most in here do. The insomnial distress conceived a beautiful piece of literature here.  So be it belated or not, allow me to welcome you into our circle, hope to see a lot more of your work.

Thomas

Salooma
Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781

9 posted 2000-08-18 12:44 PM


hehe gosh...am i late or what?! but very nicely write my friend....unique rhyme you gave this...keep writing jeremy, you're awesome!  

salooma
ps unfortunatly i missed this when it popped up, I was in bed already...all nice, comfy, and warm....ahh!

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #3 » Sleepless Nights (yawn)

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary