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Teen Poetry #3
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Erin
Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527
~Chicago~

0 posted 2000-08-16 03:38 PM




These are just some of the thoughts,
that I have of you.
I have plenty more in my head,
but here are just a few.

You are like a statue,
made of priceless gold.
To sit there looking pretty,
never able to be sold.

You are like an angel,
sent from the clouds above.
As beautiful as a rose,
as perfect as a dove.

You are like the sun,
that brightens up my day.
Shining more and more,
with every sweet word you say.

You are like the clouds,
scattered around in the sky.
Slowly expressing your feelings,
even if you have to cry.

You are like a bee,
whos buzzes I can always hear.
Like when you say I love you,
and you'll always care.

You are like a tree,
with branches that will forever grow.
And how much you changed my life,
it does truely show.

You are my love,
who i will always adore.
Proving your love,
like no one has ever before.



~*~TrUe LoVe Is ThE cLoSeSt ThInG tO hEaVen~*~

© Copyright 2000 Erin Erbs - All Rights Reserved
DancinQueen
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA
1 posted 2000-08-16 04:17 PM


Hey chick!! Well done..this was soo sweet. Flowed really nicely   Keep up the great work!

~!*DQ*!~


"One fine day you'll look at me and know that love was meant to be"
~Carol King

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
2 posted 2000-08-16 04:29 PM


Very good poem you've written, a really enjoyable read
Erin
Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527
~Chicago~
3 posted 2000-08-16 04:40 PM


thanks for the replies you guys!!!i am really glad that yous liked it!!!

~*~TrUe LoVe Is ThE cLoSeSt ThInG tO hEaVen~*~


Salooma
Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781

4 posted 2000-08-16 06:56 PM


Wonderful Erin!!
"You are like an angel,
sent from the clouds above.
As beautiful as a rose,
as perfect as a dove."

I loved it....
Salooma


jeremydraul
Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118
State of Despair
5 posted 2000-08-16 07:07 PM


I like the way you used a lot of comparing, such as "You are like a statue, made of priceless gold." Id really made the poem mean so much more when you can show how much someone means to you, it rhymed so well, and flowed so good that I couldnt stop reading it, line after line, Overall, it was a great piece and I hope to hear from you real soon again!!!

love,
,._-=-~^* Jeremy *^~-=-_.,

Erin
Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527
~Chicago~
6 posted 2000-08-17 12:33 PM


salooma~~~thank you very much for your reply!!!i really appreciate it...and im glad that you liked it...

jeremy~~~dont ask me why i wrote it like this cuz i dont know...all i know is that i was thinking of my boyfriend when i wrote it...thanks for your reply...


~*~TrUe LoVe Is ThE cLoSeSt ThInG tO hEaVen~*~


Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
7 posted 2000-08-17 10:19 AM


Erin, this is a really sweet poem.  The person you wrote if for must be a really special person.  I just hope that maybe someday someone would write something this sweet for me.  Nah, that's like asking too much... Anyways, Great poem..

As i wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR

Erin
Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527
~Chicago~
8 posted 2000-08-17 10:42 AM


acire~~~thanks for responding to my poem...i really appreciate it...the person who i wrote this for is really special...hes my boyfriend...and you never know maybe someone is writing a poem like this for you...its NOT to much...

~*~TrUe LoVe Is ThE cLoSeSt ThInG tO hEaVen~*~


Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden
9 posted 2000-08-17 12:12 PM


Awesome poem! I haven't read much else of your's, cause I haven't been on much lately, but I like this and I hope to read more of your poems in the future. You said you wrote that for your boyfriend? He sounds wonderful and I hope you and him stay together for a long time.
Later Days,
Allysa

Now follow me and do
exactly what you see.
Don't you wanna grow
up to be just like me?
~Eminem~
(Role Model)

It's rock bottom. when life make

Erin
Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527
~Chicago~
10 posted 2000-08-17 06:00 PM


allysa~~~thanks for the reply...its very much appreciated...yeah i wrote it for my boyfriend...

~*~TrUe LoVe Is ThE cLoSeSt ThInG tO hEaVen~*~


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