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Teen Poetry #3
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jeremydraul
Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118
State of Despair

0 posted 2000-08-14 02:49 AM


Morning, I awake, with this burden
It cant be forgotten, it exists
The sun rises and drys my tears
The pain of missing you persists

Afternoon, I walk, with a passion
I search for you, your not here
The air goes dry and my spirits gone
Because your in my mind my dear

Night, I sleep, a heavenly dream
Sweet thoughts, you enter my paradise
I wish you'd never leave but it's time
With my luck, it's like rolling the dice

I havn't posted anything in a few days, I hope this conquered writer's block. Tell me what you think.



© Copyright 2000 Jeremy Daniel Raulinaitis - All Rights Reserved
Salooma
Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781

1 posted 2000-08-14 02:55 AM


hey babe...where are ya? i haven't read you in a while, this was absoulty beautiful though, one of your best to tell ya the truth!! i love the morning, afternoon, and night exquisite and brilliant, write me soon....

salooma

MelissaL
Junior Member
since 2000-08-13
Posts 22
Joshua Tree, CA, US
2 posted 2000-08-14 02:57 AM


Whoa...sweet sweet poem! I can relate to it somewhat. I love your style and the way you covered the whole day throughtout the poem. Please keep up the good work.

with much love
mel

GodsPerfktAngel
Junior Member
since 2000-08-05
Posts 28
Ohio
3 posted 2000-08-14 10:58 AM


Where have you been?!?!? I missed reading your poems.This is one that I wil remember b/c so many people go through that. Well any way good poem!!!!  


GodsPerfktAngel
Junior Member
since 2000-08-05
Posts 28
Ohio
4 posted 2000-08-14 10:58 AM


Where have you been?!?!? I missed reading your poems.This is one that I wil remember b/c so many people go through that. Well any way good poem!!!!  


Isabel Galaxia
Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733

5 posted 2000-08-14 11:44 AM


Great poem!  You must be a really sweet guy......keep it up!
Bel

LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

6 posted 2000-08-14 03:24 PM


This is a wonderful piece! I'm glad you conquered your writer's block, and I wish you better luck in your love life.  

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde
"The robbed that smiles steals something from the thief" -Shakespea

MoonPrincess
Junior Member
since 2000-07-17
Posts 29
Wisconsin, USA
7 posted 2000-08-15 03:28 PM


Hey, I likes this way much... I may be a newer member, but i do look forward to seeing more of your poetry...
Love,
Kristi


"Love begins with a smile,
grows with a kiss,
and ends with a tear."

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
8 posted 2000-08-15 03:47 PM


Hey, great poem
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