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Passions in Poetry

The Rain Day

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Kyle
New Member
since 07-19-2000
[First Post] 6


0 posted 07-19-2000 01:01 PM       View Profile for Kyle   Email Kyle   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kyle



Not too much could be said;
on this particular day.
The promise of a future so bright;
so quickly wiped away.

I felt like collapsing;
as i stood amongst the people.
But something held me up;
though my heart was probably see through.

So many hopes and tears;
were falling all around me.
But no one said a word;
I guess emptiness had found me.

And, what about my family;
they all stand in a line.
I hope I dont break down and cry;
my nerves are really shook.

It's my turn now;
I look into the box.
What I see is overwhelming me;
I guess i should have stopped.

But, everyone was drinking;
why was it so wrong?
I guess i just messed up;
when I thought I could drive home.
© Copyright 2000 Kyle - All Rights Reserved
Lucius Cade
Member
since 03-23-2000
Posts 239
Saskatchewan


1 posted 07-19-2000 05:16 PM       View Profile for Lucius Cade   Email Lucius Cade   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lucius Cade

Such a strong ending to a very good poem. The whole first part left me guessing, thats what I liked about it.

Lucidity is the answer to all problems
buttercup411
Junior Member
since 07-03-2000
Posts 42
miami, fl, u.s


2 posted 07-19-2000 05:21 PM       View Profile for buttercup411   Email buttercup411   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for buttercup411

loved the way it rhymes....great ending,..
it says it's ur first post, hope u enjoy ur stay in passions : )




thanks for reading,
love....
buttercup


Chel
Senior Member
since 07-01-2000
Posts 516
Baltimore, MD, USA


3 posted 07-19-2000 07:05 PM       View Profile for Chel   Email Chel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Chel

Hey Welcome to Passions!!!  Very strong poem.  The rhymes went together well.  Keep up the good work, and I hope you enjoy it here.

Chel


"True friends stab you in the front"
"Always do your best, you will always succeed"
Jenn Cirrincione
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 07-02-2000
Posts 4370
Fl


4 posted 07-19-2000 07:10 PM       View Profile for Jenn Cirrincione   Email Jenn Cirrincione   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jenn Cirrincione

Welcome and good day to you. I've practically become addicted to this site, it's so gratifying to realize others feel your pain, and have their own problems. I liked your poem, I'm big on "Don't Drink and Drive" and I hope that this wasn't a true story. Good luck, and I hope you stay awhile.
Jenn
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 04-30-2000
Posts 16920
Ontario, Canada


5 posted 07-20-2000 07:24 PM       View Profile for Kit McCallum   Email Kit McCallum   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kit McCallum

Welcome to Passions Kyle!

This was a very stong first post with an excellent message ... don't drink and drive!

Very well done indeed!  Check your e-mail for a special message.  

Best wishes,
/Kit
StarPryncess17
Senior Member
since 05-31-2000
Posts 944
Colorado


6 posted 07-20-2000 10:44 PM       View Profile for StarPryncess17   Email StarPryncess17   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit StarPryncess17's Home Page   View IP for StarPryncess17

  First of all I'd like to say Welcome to passions!!  

  

Second, this poem was absolutely wonderful, I'm so sorry to hear about this!! I hope you have learned what a few drinks can do to a person's life and how truly devastating the outcome can be. Best of luck in life my friend.

  

Third of all, the poem and message was all conveyed very well in your rhyming scheme, the theme remained through out. Nice work!

  

  Love Always~*~Jessica~*~  



*~* I wIsH I wAs A LiTTlE gIrL aGaIn; SkInNeD kNeEs AnD bRuIsEd ElBoWs ArE eAsIeR tO hEaL tHaN a BrOkEn HeArT!*~*


[This message has been edited by StarPryncess17 (edited 07-20-2000).]
AngelShell
Senior Member
since 03-01-2000
Posts 526
not heaven nor hell so...


7 posted 07-21-2000 02:23 AM       View Profile for AngelShell   Email AngelShell   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for AngelShell

Wow, a really strong piece.  It is amazing to see that this is your first post.  You may have been writing for a long time before you came here I guess.  It's great to see that even though it was a painful experience for you, you managed to hold it together well.  When I say that I mean the poem makes sense and I understand what you're getting at.  Usually when I write about something that has had a major impact on my life, things get mixed up and it doesn't make sense.  You managed it really well.

Love Always,
Shell.
Kittie
Member
since 07-08-2000
Posts 103


8 posted 07-21-2000 07:34 PM       View Profile for Kittie   Email Kittie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kittie

Just wow, there is nothing else I can really say.  This is a really powerful peace and so open on a topic most people put inside a closet.  Keep your head up and keep up the excellent work!
Kittie


Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 09-16-2007
Posts 8075
Realm of Supernatural


9 posted 12-02-2007 08:26 PM       View Profile for Artic Wind   Email Artic Wind   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Artic Wind

Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND
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