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Teen Poetry #3
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Linzi
Junior Member
since 2000-07-08
Posts 35
Pennsylvania, USA

0 posted 2000-07-14 11:56 AM


An old and run-down farmhouse, in a town where no one's lived for years
A tattered, battered window frame, somehow linked to pain and tears
What once was new and beautiful, now lies in ruins and shame
That old and run-down farmhouse will never, ever be the same

But suddenly, somehow, some way, on an average springtime day
All the destruction, neglect, and darkness begins to almost fade away
For underneath that window frame, amongst the broken glass
A lone, red bud, of a newborn rose is visible to those who pass

Her simplicity, her innocence, like that of a naive child
The petals slowly open, growing proud and free and wild
Oblivious to her sorrowful surroundings, she continues to, in beauty bloom
Unaware that this run-down farmhouse will one day become her eerie tomb

Inevitably she comes to notice the ugliness of this lonely space
She seems to acquire the dreary shade, of this, her future resting place
She hangs her head, as if to weep, broken is her heart
Ashamed of the evil wreckage, of which she has become a part

Tainted by the sin around her, one lonely petal softly descends
The quickly approaching chill of winter is signaling the end
The other petals are soon to follow, once by one they touch the ground
For an instant everything is still, no movement, and no sound

A single petal remains, hanging sadly, limply, from her head
All at once, it drops and drifts and joins the bed of petals red
And here at this old and run-down farmhouse, where no one's been for years
The death of a rose will insill in us, a haunting, lingering, chilling fear


~*~Linzi~*~

"Ignore reality; there's nothing you can do about it" ~ Natalie Imbruglia


© Copyright 2000 Lindsay Yurcaba - All Rights Reserved
Kittie
Member
since 2000-07-08
Posts 103

1 posted 2000-07-14 05:57 PM


Wow!!  This was really great, and reminded me of the house I used to live in.  This was really well written, and I really enjoyed reading it!
Kittie



Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
2 posted 2000-07-14 06:34 PM


Beautiful flow and rhyming scheme Linzi!  You've penned such incredible imagery here ... I could see each petal softly fall.  Simply stunning writing, keep up the great work!

Best wishes,
/Kit

sorrowfulangel
Member
since 2000-06-29
Posts 59
Memphis,TN
3 posted 2000-07-14 06:45 PM


Your poem is most definetly soul touching.

"god is the biggest under-achiever I know,something good happens god is great,something bad happens,he now works in mysterious ways"

The_Driven
Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 60

4 posted 2000-07-14 07:09 PM


That was awesome. Kinda sad when you think about it, with the rose and all. the way you captured that was just MAGIC! Excellent job!
BabyGirl1
Member
since 2000-07-02
Posts 91
Morris, IL
5 posted 2000-07-14 10:27 PM


WOW!!  This poem was so beautiful.  It was as if I was the one who saw the rose.  Great  imagery.  I also like how you used the life of the rose and showed how it started out and then slowly died.  Wonderful poem, keep up the good work.  Cant wait to read more!!

"We are each of us angels with only one wing. And we can fly only by embracing each other."

-Luciano de Crescenzo-

Jacman
Member
since 2000-06-27
Posts 291
Dwight Il, US
6 posted 2000-07-15 12:52 PM


This poem exemplifies poetry as an artform.  With simple words and phrases, you painted a picture so vivid and real that it seemed as though I were there looking on at this rose myself.  You my friend are quite an artist.  I am in awe of your talent.

jason

TAP2
Member
since 2000-06-29
Posts 211
Morris, Il USA
7 posted 2000-07-15 11:10 AM


Not very often am I amazed by a poem in such a way that it leaves me speechless... Words cannot do this justice. I could us every adjective in my vocabulary, and not capture the essence of how moving this is. I could not find enough metaphors to describe the simplistic beauty. Very well done. We await the next masterpiece from the heart that can move us like this.

Thomas A. PLemmons

"I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss The Dance"

-Garth Brooks-

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
8 posted 2007-12-01 11:12 PM


Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND

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