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Teen Poetry #3
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Deeper Then You Can See (Please Reply)
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Deeper Then You Can See (Please Reply) |
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Secsyy lil angel Junior Member
since 2000-05-30
Posts 36Portland Oregon, USA |
Deeper then you can see When you look at me, what do you see? Do you see a girl who is happy and free? Or do you see someone who has been hurt Someone who has had their heart thrown in the dirt Do you look at my outsides, or do you look into my heart? Can you see that there is more to me then what is shown at the start? Or do you judge me from what my body looks like Things i cant change though try i might You take one look at me and you walk away You dont realize that this is a game i dont want to play I want you to like whats on the inside, the real me But that is much deeper then you can see. I was going to add more onto this poem, but I didn't really know where to go from there. I may add more later. ~*Love exists only in the hearts of those who choose to acknowledge its existence...*~ *~To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.~* |
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| © Copyright 2000 Kia - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Jeremy Halstead Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 569Morris, Ill. U.S.A |
Hey...I really liked yer poem...it takes a lot of courage to write something like that. You placed your thoughts very nicely too. It seems like yer feeling pretty dejected lately...I've swam that wave in my days...luckily, now I work too much to really worry about it. If you wanna bull$*!++ sometime, my screen name is JerMan19...aol... if you want, I could give you my phn#. Jeremy "Time is the matter, and in a matter of that all wounds will heal and all scars shall fade." |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Actually lil angel, your poem is good as it is. You don't have to add more to it anymore. I like it a lot. Remember, people who only look at the outside is not worth being with. What always counts is what's in the inside. |
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TAP2 Member
since 2000-06-29
Posts 211Morris, Il USA |
Poem speaks fathoms as is. People are so ignorant to what we truly are, never looking beyond the surface. We have all been guilty of this. Hopefully your poem will inspire us all to look a little deeper now. You got my vote. Thomas |
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Chel Senior Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 511Baltimore, MD, USA |
I liked this poem very much. I hope to read more. Keep up the good work. Chel "True friends stab you in the front" "Always do your best, you will always succeed" |
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StarPryncess17 Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932Colorado |
I agree with Thomas! We all are guilty of giving into the cynical wraths of judgement. Your words tell the story all too well. I don't think that you need to add any lines, it is just great the way it is. Keep your head up my friend! Love Always~*~Jessica~*~ ~*~My fire is dead,it knew no pain; yet it is dead and I remain: All stiff with ice ashes lie;and they are dead, and I will die~*~ |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
this is perfect the way it is...i really do like it...dont let no guy play a game with your feelings...but if you do just play it right back with him... ~IF YOU WANT SOMETHING VERY BADLY~SET IT FREE~IF IT COMES BACK TO YOU~ITS YOURS FOREVER~IF IT DOESNT IT WAS NEVER YOURS TO BEGIN WITH~ |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
This is a great poem, and so true. I can relate to this VERY well. If this person can't see past the outside, well, he's not good enough for you anyway. "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde "The robbed that smiles steals something from the thief" -Shakespea |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Enjoyed ARCTIC WIND |
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