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Teen Poetry #3
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Jeremy Halstead
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 569
Morris, Ill. U.S.A

0 posted 2000-07-06 06:07 AM




The Rain

A shining sun or maybe not
still is glowing pain.
Seeing shadows on the side.
Standing in the rain.
No lightning, no thunder,
no moonlight to see the damp.
Any sort of spark be great...
where's my moonlit lamp?
Pooring down with tastes of salt
but not to quench your thirst.
Just to bring the taste of rain
until the puddles burst.
Again, I'm wet, but find no rainbows
as dryness has been slain.
Standing lone and insecure.
Living in rain.
< !signature-->

"Time is the matter, and in a matter of that all wounds will heal and all scars shall fade."


[This message has been edited by Jeremy Halstead (edited 07-06-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Jeremy D. Halstead - All Rights Reserved
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
1 posted 2000-07-06 07:54 AM


You have a wonderful talent Jeremy! This flowed so sweetly ... beautifully written and so descriptive!  Really well done indeed!

Best wishes,
/Kit

Chel
Senior Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 511
Baltimore, MD, USA
2 posted 2000-07-06 08:37 AM


Jeremy, I liked this poem. It was very descriptive and flowed nicely.  I hope you keep this up.

Chel

"True friends stab you in the front"

Wren
Member
since 2000-07-05
Posts 312

3 posted 2000-07-06 10:59 AM


What graceful rhymes! I like this poem alot.
TAP2
Member
since 2000-06-29
Posts 211
Morris, Il USA
4 posted 2000-07-06 11:10 AM


Jeremy, you never cease to amaze me. This poem spoke volumes. I think alot of us need to step in out of the rain. The descriptiveness  and naturalistic beauty embelished here is wonderful. I'm on the edge of my seat waiting for more.

TAP2

Jacman
Member
since 2000-06-27
Posts 291
Dwight Il, US
5 posted 2000-07-06 11:20 AM


Well Jeremy, this is probably one of the best I've seen from you so far.  Even though I love the rain.  Your getting alot better at physical sensation and description.  Not that you were bad in the first place, but this poem does an exceptionally good job at putting a certain picture in my mind.  And isn't Tom such a suck up?
TearsOfPearls
Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 322
Vereeniging, South-Africa
6 posted 2000-07-06 04:00 PM


This is a lovely poem, as all of your previous work. You have a great talent and you use it in a spectacular way.

I live in the rain.



Waves...amazing hey? Wind blowing over smoothe ocean water creates shear. The longer the wind blows, and the futher the fetch, the more energy gets transferred from the wind to the water. What started off as a breeze 1 000km away, ends up as a glass-faced barrel at some far off beach.

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
7 posted 2007-12-01 10:32 PM


Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND

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