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Teen Poetry #3
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Jose Marti
Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 374
washing DC

0 posted 2000-07-05 02:01 AM


I wrote this as a rap.
about 110 bpm
each line is about 1/2 a measure:

WHILE GOING TO THE Q-MART:

My morning starts
As I roll outta bed
Mom said to buy some milk
And hunger's in my head

I throw on some ragged shorts
'Cause It's gettin hot these days
On the way I encounter
A soul piercing gaze.

But what have I done?
Have I committed some sin?
I look down at my legs
and only see my brown skin.

Then from his car emerges,
A white version of me.
My same tattered rags,
Same messed up hair…

Then I think to myself,
< How can this be >
< All he gets is warm smiles >
< So what's the difference >
< between him and me! >

An old woman passes him
She greets him "hello"
Her expression changed
As she passes me
As if to say "oh no"

So, come on tell me
What the cause of this
Is this all really
Just because I'm Spanish?

© Copyright 2000 Jose Marti - All Rights Reserved
sorrowfulangel
Member
since 2000-06-29
Posts 59
Memphis,TN
1 posted 2000-07-05 02:55 AM


i like your poem jose,i've never really though of it that way.if people are so narrow minded as to think that way,then I don't think their company would be any better.

"god is the biggest under-achiever I know,something good happens god is great,something bad happens,he now works in mysterious ways"

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
2 posted 2000-07-05 06:29 AM


Great writing Josi!  Some days, I too wish I could see into people's minds for answers.  All we can do is smile, and realize it's their loss if they don't take the time to get  to know us.  Wonderful writing!

Best wishes,
/Kit

Isabel Galaxia
Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733

3 posted 2000-07-05 10:45 AM


Jose- Great poem.  I'm sure a lot of people feel the same way you do.  People can be so horribly narrow-minded.  If they don't accept you without getting to know you, they aren't worth your time.  Keep up your writing
Bel

Chel
Senior Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 511
Baltimore, MD, USA
4 posted 2000-07-05 12:09 PM


Hey,
  I liked this one too.  I think that if people judge others on appearance, and don't get to know someone than they aren't worthy of your friendship.  I am glad to be your friend.

Luv always,
Michelle

"True friends stab you in the front"

Erin
Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527
~Chicago~
5 posted 2000-07-05 03:21 PM


this is good jose...but you see im from chicago and its like you see that stuff everyday...its just like one big race war out there...you cant talk to this one because hes mexican but then you cant talk to her cuz shes white and you cant talk to this one cuz hes black...i see it all the time...its like they dont cross the streets into another "colors" neighborhood...

~IF YOU WANT SOMETHING VERY BADLY~SET IT FREE~IF IT COMES BACK TO YOU~ITS YOURS FOREVER~IF IT DOESNT IT WAS NEVER YOURS TO BEGIN WITH~

Jeremiah Johnson
Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223
Brooksville, Fl, U.S
6 posted 2000-07-05 04:36 PM


well this is a great poem i really like it as for the point. i do feel this way at all its just how i guess i look at the world. i don't see colors i see personality that i don't like. well enjoyed it and do keep it up.

I'm a dying romantic and when i can no longer write i can no longer live -Jeremiah Johnson-


Jose Marti
Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 374
washing DC
7 posted 2000-07-06 11:57 PM


Thanks for reading my poem. It felt good to get this kind of thought off of my mind. I think that if enough people speak out, even negitivly, if we open dialogue, race will no loger be an issue in our society. In my country, slavery wasn't abolished until 1898, but race relations have made a lot more progress than here, and today, it is no longer an issue there.
Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
8 posted 2007-12-01 10:36 PM


Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND

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