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Teen Poetry #3
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Jacman
Member
since 2000-06-27
Posts 291
Dwight Il, US

0 posted 2000-07-04 04:59 PM


Look past what you can see today.
Have faith in the road that lies ahead.
your members steadfast your feet strong,
prepare yourself now to keep moving along.
Through the thunders blast, and the gails.
Through valleys deep and turns that are hidden.
I'll be there to carry you
when you can walk no more.



© Copyright 2000 Jason Allen Carmen - All Rights Reserved
StarPryncess17
Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932
Colorado
1 posted 2000-07-04 05:03 PM


Jason, wonderful indeed!! I truly saw inside your heart in reading this!! as for a title, how about "I'll be there"? Love Always~*~PrYnCeSs JeSs~*~

p.s. It was nice talking to you!!  


~*~Love is the product of our dicontentment with ourselves~*~
~*~SMILE! It makes your butt shine!~*~

Erin
Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527
~Chicago~
2 posted 2000-07-04 06:09 PM


this is truly a beautiful poem...it reminds me of the FOOTPRINTS" poem...where at the end jesus said there was only one set of footprints because at a rough time in your life he cariied you...i really hope that it gets in the book...you have my vote...

~IF YOU WANT SOMETHING VERY BADLY~SET IT FREE~IF IT COMES BACK TO YOU~ITS YOURS FOREVER~IF IT DOESNT IT WAS NEVER YOURS TO BEGIN WITH~

Jeremy Halstead
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 569
Morris, Ill. U.S.A
3 posted 2000-07-04 07:26 PM


Don't Fear the Journey....I've read this one and you know how I feel about it.

Jeremy< !signature-->

"Time is the matter, and in a matter of that all wounds will heal and all scars shall fade."


[This message has been edited by Kit McCallum (edited 07-05-2000).]

Isabel Galaxia
Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733

4 posted 2000-07-04 10:15 PM


Hey- that was a great poem!  I think either Jessica or Jeremy's titles would work.  Keep up the great writing!
Bel

Jeremiah Johnson
Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223
Brooksville, Fl, U.S
5 posted 2000-07-05 04:26 PM


this is a wonderful piece of your work i really enjoy it and hope to see more real soon so do keep it up.

I'm a dying romantic and when i can no longer write i can no longer live -Jeremiah Johnson-


Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
6 posted 2000-07-05 08:33 PM


This is simply beautiful Jacman!  It leaves the reader with a wonderful visual and such positive feelings.  Well done!

Best wishes,
/Kit

BabyGirl1
Member
since 2000-07-02
Posts 91
Morris, IL
7 posted 2000-07-05 10:41 PM


This was a great poem Jay.  I have to agree with Jessica on the title.
LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

8 posted 2000-07-05 11:35 PM


"I'll be there to carry you
when you can walk no more."

This is just beautiful! I love this... great writing, my friend.

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde
"The robbed that smiles steals something from the thief" -Shakespea

April Resi
Member
since 1999-10-18
Posts 119
Alabama
9 posted 2000-07-05 11:50 PM


"Look past what you can see today.
Have faith in the road that lies ahead."

Words can never tell you how much those lines mean to me. That whole poem literally brought tears to my eyes because of the image it left and the thoughts it provoked.
It was simply beautiful!

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
10 posted 2007-12-01 10:26 PM


Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND

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