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BGirl_Princess
New Member

since 2000-06-25

Posts 7
Burlington, Ontario, Canada

0 posted 2000-07-03 05:34 PM

This is just a poem.. nothing too exciting I guess... Let me know what ya think plz

Silence and pain builds on the careless torture
The endless angry torment of a simple child
A child of whom feels all alone, yet is crowded
The child who is smothered with tears
Her own tears
The tears that are dripping down her heart
And finally out of her soul
They swallow her whole
Leaving behind a cold, limp body
A body which is never found
Until the door is opened
And than once again slammed
She was once unknown
And yet still is
And always will be
For her tears are clear as glass
And can not be seen
Her pain is my pain
I am the air that dries her tears
That she carelessly wipes away
I am the star she wishes on
That simply fades
She lives in pain
And I do too
For I am the child
Who is smothered with her tears

And thas about it...

~The world only hurts you because it can. You mustn't simply allow it to, you must put up a fight.~

-*Tina a.k.a. BGirl_Princess*

StarPryncess17
Senior Member

since 2000-05-31

Posts 932
Colorado

1 posted 2000-07-03 08:02 PM

My fellow *Princess*

This is a very beautiful poem. Please don't sell yourself short by saying your writing isn't "that exciting" The only thing you are doing is hurting yourself when you say things like that, in doing so, you are being way to critical of your work. Your writing is beautiful. I wasn't expecting it to end the way it did which is a unique style of writing that I enjoy very much. I thought it was simply magnificent and you worded your feelings so brilliantly! I'm sorry to hear of your pain and suffering, just keep your head up and know that some day, things will start to look up! Love Always~*~JeSsIcA~*~

~*~Love is the product of our dicontentment with ourselves~*~
~*~SMILE! It makes your butt shine!~*~

BabyGirl1
Member

since 2000-07-02

Posts 91
Morris, IL

2 posted 2000-07-03 10:17 PM

I really enjoyed this poem. It was very well written and flowed very nicely. You are a great writter. Keep them coming!

Jeremiah Johnson
Senior Member

since 2000-06-08

Posts 1223
Brooksville, Fl, U.S

3 posted 2000-07-04 01:46 AM

a very grand poem i enjoyed it very much and long to read more of you real soon. so do please keep writing. you are so great at it.

I'm a dying romantic and when i can no longer write i can no longer live -Jeremiah Johnson-

Kit McCallum

Administrator

Member Laureate

since 2000-04-30

Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada

4 posted 2000-07-04 05:50 AM

"She was once unknown
And yet still is
And always will be
For her tears are clear as glass
And can not be seen"

This was so moving BGirl_Princess! Your imagery in this is vivid and your emotions so sorrowfully expressed. I particularly loved the lines above ... hope to see much more from you ... wonderful writing!

Best wishes,
/Kit

Jeremy Halstead
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 569
Morris, Ill. U.S.A

5 posted 2000-07-05 12:31 PM

I was gonna quote the same lines as Kit as my favs. This is the only think I've read from you, but I truly hope to see more soon.
Wonderful depth...I'm envious.

Jeremy

"Time is the matter, and in a matter of that all wounds will heal and all scars shall fade."

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural

6 posted 2007-12-01 08:03 PM

Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND

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