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Teen Poetry #3
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Erin
Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527
~Chicago~

0 posted 2000-06-29 03:04 AM


~*~Opening Up~*~


Everything you mean to me,
I just cant say.
Because I just might,
try and push you away.

It is hard for me,
to open up to you.
I dont know what,
you will say or do.

It is hard for me,
to just let it all out.
I dont know if you'll smile and laugh,
or if you'll cry and pout.

It is hard for me,
so you may have to wait.
And when that day comes,
I will have my mind to state.


~IF YOU WANT SOMETHING VERY BADLY~SET IT FREE~IF IT COMES BACK TO YOU~ITS YOURS FOREVER~IF IT DOESNT IT WAS NEVER YOURS TO BEGIN WITH~

© Copyright 2000 Erin Erbs - All Rights Reserved
Jeremy Halstead
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 569
Morris, Ill. U.S.A
1 posted 2000-06-29 04:00 AM


Do me a favor...don't sell yourself short on the quality of your poetry anymore.  The things I liked most about this one are the clearness of the message and the way you used
the key phrase repeatedly to drive the emotional a little further....nice work.

Jeremy

"Time is the matter, and in a matter of that all wounds will heal and all scars shall fade."

amazon_lover
Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 491
Dublin,Ireland
2 posted 2000-06-29 03:16 PM


Nice one and good work..I guess no one waits forever...its ambiguity that creates uneasiness..try to live life by simple terms...
Sincerely
A_L

Misty Blue
Junior Member
since 2000-05-24
Posts 44

3 posted 2000-06-29 07:37 PM


(sigh)
A common mistake made among females.With feelings so strong towards a person that those feelings are hard to express (speaking of myself).Don't get me wrong I really felt yooh and hope there are more to come. You're a great writer.

Nikkisweet
Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 183
Tx, Dallas
4 posted 2000-06-29 10:27 PM


This poem does not express me at all.  When I have feelings about a guy, I let them know.  And don't do it.  It scares them away.  I'm trying so hard to keep my feelings inside me, and only in my poetry.

Within you I lose myself.
Without you I find myself wanting to become lost again.
-unkown-

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
5 posted 2007-11-19 08:09 PM


Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND

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