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Teen Poetry #3
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hoppy
Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 271


0 posted 2000-06-25 10:25 PM


This isn't quite like the others but i thought someone might like it.  Don't have much to say about it so i'll let it speak.


Confession

Take me by the hand
show me why your still here;
why you left me in the sand.
Take away my fear.

Basking in pale moon light;
clouds cover the night;
I see eyes shining bright
as i fall out of sight.

Show my heart why
you dropped it on the floor.
I thought I would die
as you walked out the door.

I hear what you say
when i'm far away;
But I must tell you this way;
Pour toujours je vous aime

---Written by:Hoppy
4-23-00  



There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
-- Oscar Levant

"Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live."

© Copyright 2000 Hoppy - All Rights Reserved
BGirl_Princess
New Member
since 2000-06-25
Posts 7
Burlington, Ontario, Canada
1 posted 2000-06-25 10:30 PM


This is a really great peice! I love the last line, "Pour toujour je vous aime" it totally stands out and makes such a difference in the poem! I love it! Keep up the great work  



~The world only hurts you because it can. You mustn't simply allow it to, you must put up a fight.~

-*Tina a.k.a. BGirl_Princess*


Jeremiah Johnson
Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223
Brooksville, Fl, U.S
2 posted 2000-06-26 01:14 AM


yes great piece and keep up the wonderful work. good job.

I'm a dying romantic and when i can no longer write i can no longer live -Jeremiah Johnson-


Snickers
Member
since 2000-05-25
Posts 88
East Haddam, CT
3 posted 2000-06-26 11:11 AM


Beautiful work.  I'm sorry you had to experience such pain.  But you express it very well.  I especially like the last line Pour toujours je vous aime: I'll love you forever.  That's just plain beauty.  Don't ever stop writing.

~<3 Alwayz~
  **Nikki**


~*~*~*~*"We can complain because roses have thorns, or we can rejoice because thorns have roses." *~*~*~*~

Crystalina123
Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 228

4 posted 2000-06-26 12:55 PM


I really like this poem, and it stands out from your other poems. VEry good piece, the french in the last line really made the poem. Good job.

Love,
Crystal

Maybe God has us meet a few wrong people so that when we meet the right one we can truly appreciate the gift.

LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

5 posted 2000-06-26 01:04 PM


This is a beautiful poem. I love the last line (I love French!). I wish you better luck in the future!  

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde
"The robbed that smiles steals something from the thief" -Shakespea

Erin
Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527
~Chicago~
6 posted 2000-06-27 11:09 AM


this is the first poem that i read of yours and i really liked it...but the only part was the last line...i didnt understand what it said...but i guess you need to know french to understand it...

~IF YOU WANT SOMETHING VERY BADLY~SET IT FREE~IF IT COMES BACK TO YOU~ITS YOURS FOREVER~IF IT DOESNT IT WAS NEVER YOURS TO BEGIN WITH~

Erin
Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527
~Chicago~
7 posted 2000-06-27 11:10 AM


this is the first poem that i read of yours and i really liked it...but the only part was the last line...i didnt understand what it said...but i guess you need to know french to understand it...

~IF YOU WANT SOMETHING VERY BADLY~SET IT FREE~IF IT COMES BACK TO YOU~ITS YOURS FOREVER~IF IT DOESNT IT WAS NEVER YOURS TO BEGIN WITH~

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
8 posted 2007-11-18 03:32 PM


Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND

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