Teen Poetry #3 |
I wanted to kiss the bundles of stars in your face..... |
jennie may* Member
since 2000-06-17
Posts 122 |
I wanted to kiss the bundles of stars in your face I wanted to smooth the rough edges of your skin weaved with mine so full of hidden pain and boyish innocence I wanted to melt into your warm white walls I didn't want to leave you the heavens watched us sleeping quietly in those cold January nights angels full of envy above us I suppose they wanted you to become a fleeting blotch of red in my heart I suppose the whispers of fate decided to change us I didn't want to leave you with gentle fingers and sleepy eyes we fell in love I always tangled the stars in your hair I always kissed the scars on your hands as if I knew we were going to die the angels have you now the man I loved and I have sorrow and one million pictures of you lodged in my chest |
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© Copyright 2000 jennie may* - All Rights Reserved | |||
Lucius Cade Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 235Saskatchewan |
That is probably the sweetest poem I have ever read. I really liked it, I like you style of writing also. Keep up the good work. Lucidity is the answer to all problems |
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Jeremiah Johnson Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223Brooksville, Fl, U.S |
yes this is a different style here and i like it. people like my style and i always try something new so i commend you for being different. and this is another great piece from you. i like i like. I'm a dying romantic and when i can no longer write i can no longer live -Jeremiah Johnson- |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
This is beautiful, Jennie!! I too like your style...keep up the posting!! Love and hugs, Lizzie "Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight." |
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Lani_DarkOne Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 152UK |
I love the structure of your poems...yeah this is different from your last piece but I love it...it's just as full of emotion, but it's just as REAL as your last poem(I keep on using that term...you know what I mean by 'real' don't u?) The importance of the angels here is sweet as well as painful... These lines are beautiful: "I always tangled the stars in your hair I always kissed the scars on your hands" I don't usually like love 'soppy' poems, but this is the first I more than 'like'. Keep writing!! "Controlling my feelings for too long.... And forcing our darkest souls to unfold... And pushing us into self-destruction...." *~Muse*~ |
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~Night_Mist~ Junior Member
since 2000-06-24
Posts 31Calgary, AB Canada |
Hey Jennie: Great style like everyone else said. I really love your poem! Lot sof talent! Keep writing o.k.? Luv, ~Night_Mist~ |
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jennie may* Member
since 2000-06-17
Posts 122 |
Thanx a BUNCH for all your comments! I love to know that people can relate to my poetry! And Lani-I do know what you mean by "real". Sometimes a straightforward approach can be the best expression of emotion. Thanx again! |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Enjoyed ARCTIC WIND |
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