I wanted to kiss the bundles of stars in your face.....

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jennie may*
Member

since 2000-06-17

Posts 122

0 posted 2000-06-24 12:07 PM

I wanted to
kiss the
bundles of stars
in your face

I wanted to
smooth the
rough edges of your
skin
weaved with mine
so full of
hidden pain
and
boyish innocence

I wanted to
melt into your
warm white walls

I didn't want to leave you

the heavens watched us
sleeping quietly
in those cold
January nights

angels
full of
envy
above us

I suppose they
wanted you
to become
a fleeting blotch
of red
in my heart

I suppose
the whispers of
fate
decided to
change us

I didn't want to leave you

with gentle fingers
and sleepy eyes
we fell in love

I always tangled the
stars in your hair
I always kissed
the scars on your hands

as if I knew
we were going to
die

the angels have
you
now

the man I loved

and I have
sorrow
and
one million pictures of you

lodged in my chest

Lucius Cade
Member

since 2000-03-23

Posts 235
Saskatchewan

1 posted 2000-06-24 12:32 PM

That is probably the sweetest poem I have ever read. I really liked it, I like you style of writing also. Keep up the good work.

Lucidity is the answer to all problems

Jeremiah Johnson
Senior Member

since 2000-06-08

Posts 1223
Brooksville, Fl, U.S

2 posted 2000-06-25 01:24 AM

yes this is a different style here and i like it. people like my style and i always try something new so i commend you for being different. and this is another great piece from you. i like i like.

I'm a dying romantic and when i can no longer write i can no longer live -Jeremiah Johnson-

ESP
Member Elite

since 2000-01-25

Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....

3 posted 2000-06-25 05:59 AM

This is beautiful, Jennie!! I too like your style...keep up the posting!!

Love and hugs,
Lizzie

"Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight."

Lani_DarkOne
Member

since 2000-05-28

Posts 152
UK

4 posted 2000-06-25 10:20 AM

I love the structure of your poems...yeah this is different from your last piece but I love it...it's just as full of emotion, but it's just as REAL as your last poem(I keep on using that term...you know what I mean by 'real' don't u?)
The importance of the angels here is sweet as well as painful...
These lines are beautiful:
"I always tangled the
stars in your hair
I always kissed
the scars on your hands"

I don't usually like love 'soppy' poems, but this is the first I more than 'like'.

Keep writing!!

"Controlling my feelings for too long....
And forcing our darkest souls to unfold...
And pushing us into self-destruction...."
*~Muse*~

~Night_Mist~
Junior Member

since 2000-06-24

Posts 31
Calgary, AB Canada

5 posted 2000-06-25 02:39 PM

Hey Jennie:
Great style like everyone else said. I really love your poem! Lot sof talent! Keep writing o.k.?
Luv, ~Night_Mist~

jennie may*
Member

since 2000-06-17

Posts 122

6 posted 2000-06-25 09:05 PM

Thanx a BUNCH for all your comments! I love to know that people can relate to my poetry! And Lani-I do know what you mean by "real". Sometimes a straightforward approach can be the best expression of emotion. Thanx again!

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural

7 posted 2007-11-18 02:00 PM

Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND

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