Child Who Now Can See - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Lani_DarkOne
Member

since 2000-05-28

Posts 152
UK

0 posted 2000-06-23 02:33 PM

**The first poem here that I've written recently
(actually today). It's funny, I was going to write something positive for once and I've come out with this...

When I was younger, naïve
Tripped climbing up the mountainous slope
Bled
Red upon condemning rocks
They mocked me.

Ingenuous, I kissed my jurors,
A fatuous hope I was forgiven
For scarring their foreboding stony selves
With mere mortal blood and tears.

When I was younger, naïve
Succumbed to all moods
Of my craggy judgemental mountain.
Beat my own debilitating path
Up to the peak that promised life.

Skirted around all protruding rocks
In case of staining you with more
Sinful blood.
And salty helpless tears.

Now I'm older, cynical
Doubt narrows my eyes as I examine
Life from inferior ground.
Body bruised, soul drips with malice
You no longer are ominous
No longer prestigious.

You are a mountain
Who dictates with ruthless tyranny.
But I'm still searching
For life
Air.

Jeremiah Johnson
Senior Member

since 2000-06-08

Posts 1223
Brooksville, Fl, U.S

1 posted 2000-06-23 02:52 PM

i really like this one. hope you find what your looking for.

I'm a dying romantic and when i can no longer write i can no longer live -Jeremiah Johnson-

MysticalAngel
Junior Member

since 2000-06-22

Posts 23

2 posted 2000-06-23 03:00 PM

This was a really good poem! It spoke so strongly yet it is simply words. Very Very well said! I liked it alot.MysticalAngel

LoveBug

Moderator

Member Elite

since 2000-01-08

Posts 4697

3 posted 2000-06-23 03:16 PM

This is a beautiful poem. I can really relate to it. Remember, you gain strength with each mountain you climb.

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde
"The robbed that smiles steals something from the thief" -Shakespea

Cerenity
Member Elite

since 2000-02-16

Posts 2637
Escondido-California

4 posted 2000-06-23 10:55 PM

Hi Lani_DarkOne,

This was wonderful and very insightful, very much enjoyed.

Cerenity

TearsOfPearls
Member

since 1999-09-23

Posts 322
Vereeniging, South-Africa

5 posted 2000-06-24 08:15 AM

This is a great poem.

There was once an athlete, running the comrades marathon. When the tv crew got to him, he was crying, tears falling like rain. The crew didn't understand and wanted to know what was wrong. He pointed out in front of him and said they must look at that massive hill, it's steep and hard to run up.

The crew went to a few other athletes and after a while they cought up with this particular atlete and he was laughting out loud like they have never heard someone laught before. They asked him why he was laughting while running this hill, when a while ago he was crying. He told them he was laughting because he know when he comes to the top it will be downhill from there.

That is a good thing to remember in hard times.

Waves...amazing hey? Wind blowing over smoothe ocean water creates shear. The longer the wind blows, and the futher the fetch, the more energy gets transferred from the wind to the water. What started off as a breeze 1 000km away, ends up as a glass-faced barrel at some far off beach.

Lani_DarkOne
Member

since 2000-05-28

Posts 152
UK

6 posted 2000-06-24 09:47 AM

Thanks everyone for replying and the advice. The 'mountain' could be seen in many different perspectives, it's interesting how you all thought of it.

TearsOfPearls, thanks for that story...it means alot to me.

Lani

"Controlling my feelings for too long....
And forcing our darkest souls to unfold...
And pushing us into self-destruction...."
*~Muse*~

jennie may*
Member

since 2000-06-17

Posts 122

7 posted 2000-06-24 12:33 PM

oooohh- how I can relate to this one. Life has a way of stripping away youth's dreams. But I suppose there is still a child in all of us somewhere, begging to come out. Good poem.

~Night_Mist~
Junior Member

since 2000-06-24

Posts 31
Calgary, AB Canada

8 posted 2000-06-24 04:30 PM

Hey Lani:
Great poem! Don't worry about it being too depressing cause I find those are the ones that make you think the most. I have depression and so, most of my poems are like that too. Your poem was beautiful!
~Night_Mist~

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural

9 posted 2007-11-18 01:57 PM

Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.