navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #3 » Still Shining Brightly
Teen Poetry #3
Post A Reply Post New Topic Still Shining Brightly Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Erin
Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527
~Chicago~

0 posted 2000-06-22 01:24 PM


~Still Shining Brightly~

Six bullet holes,
were carved in your chest.
Now everyones crying,
as we lay you to rest.

What thoughts were in you mind,
when they pulled out that gun?
Now your mothers at the morgue,
telling them "yes thats my son."

You had your whole life ahead of you,
at only 18 years old.
And you died because of colors,
that happened to be black and gold.

I still remember you face,
with you beautiful smile and big brown eyes.
I want to let go of my past so bad,
because thinking about you always makes me cry.

Now as I look up in the sky,
beautiful shining stars I see.
Know that your shining them,
while looking down at me.

R.I.P.~~Orlando Meraz
12~22~80~~~12~31~98
< !signature-->

~IF YOU WANT SOMETHING VERY BADLY~SET IT FREE~IF IT COMES BACK TO YOU~ITS YOURS FOREVER~IF IT DOESNT IT WAS NEVER YOURS TO BEGIN WITH~


[This message has been edited by ERIN (edited 06-22-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Erin Erbs - All Rights Reserved
StarPryncess17
Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932
Colorado
1 posted 2000-06-22 01:44 PM


This is a beautiful poem! and I'm sooo very sorry to hear of your loss! I know how you feel. about 4 months ago I lost my childhood friend to a drunk driver.   Keep up the faith! I know your friend is happy and feels no pain! Love Always~*~Jessica~*~

~*~Love is the product of our dicontentment with ourselves~*~
~*~SMILE! It makes your butt shine!~*~

Crystalina123
Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 228

2 posted 2000-06-22 02:53 PM


I too lost a childhood friend recently. 3-26-00 to be exact. I share your pain but feel that this is a beautiful tribute to your friend. It's too bad something as silly as colors can take a life.

Love,
Crystal

Maybe God has us meet a few wrong people so that when we meet the right one we can truly appreciate the gift.

Erin
Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527
~Chicago~
3 posted 2000-06-22 05:36 PM


thank you guys for caring and im really sorry to hear about your friends. to me its just really hard to forget about these things. and to top it off its still hard for me to look at his picture with out crying. god took something precious away from all of us.

~IF YOU WANT SOMETHING VERY BADLY~SET IT FREE~IF IT COMES BACK TO YOU~ITS YOURS FOREVER~IF IT DOESNT IT WAS NEVER YOURS TO BEGIN WITH~

Jeremiah Johnson
Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223
Brooksville, Fl, U.S
4 posted 2000-06-23 02:02 AM


well Erin my story you know about my true love and how she was gunned down. but anyway i think this is the second one for your friend you've wrote and i'm telling you this now i know he's happy cause of you and i'll never forget him either cause you keep him immortalized. great job.

I'm a dying romantic and when i can no longer write i can no longer live -Jeremiah Johnson-


Erin
Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527
~Chicago~
5 posted 2000-06-23 03:34 AM


well JEREMIAH thank you very much for your replies...they mean alot to me...you always know the perfect thing to say about the poems...and yeah i know about you girl and i am truly sorry about that i know how you feel... may she rest in peace...i feel your pain...for all of you...i really thank you guys for the comments...it means alot to me that you guys can relate to what i am going through and the pain that i am feeling...

~IF YOU WANT SOMETHING VERY BADLY~SET IT FREE~IF IT COMES BACK TO YOU~ITS YOURS FOREVER~IF IT DOESNT IT WAS NEVER YOURS TO BEGIN WITH~

Jose Marti
Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 374
washing DC
6 posted 2000-08-25 02:13 PM


Erin~homegirl, wow, a very powerful poem. I never lost a friend to gang violence (just barely), but I can imagine how you feel. this poem as I said is very powerful. I'm glad that I read it, and i think that these new guys should have a chance to see it.
ShUgArHiGh
Junior Member
since 2000-08-24
Posts 24

7 posted 2000-08-25 03:05 PM


That was a beautiful and sad poem. I've never lost a friend to violence but i lost my friend last summer to Lukemia so i relate to the loss and how much it effects you.
Erin
Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527
~Chicago~
8 posted 2000-08-25 06:35 PM


jose~~~i wrote like 3 poems dedicated to this guy...he was a really good friend of mine...and one day he was gone...thank you for bringing it back up to the list...

shugar~~~thanks for the reply...i am sorry to hear about your friend...to this day it still effects...


~*~TrUe LoVe Is ThE cLoSeSt ThInG tO hEaVen~*~


Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
9 posted 2000-08-25 06:55 PM


Sorry for the loss.  A loss of life in any manner but oldage is disheartening.  I'll tell you this, your friend is very proud of you right now.  The poem is very heartfelt

As i wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR

StarPryncess17
Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932
Colorado
10 posted 2000-08-25 07:07 PM


Well Erin, although I have already read and replied...I feel compelled to reply again. I'm so sorry of your loss! Like I said, I know how you feel. On Aug.18th it was six months since I lost my life (my best friend--he was my life. all that I had) The hardest thing is knowing that he was the only reason I kept living...and now that he is gone, I have to live on by myself and do all the things that we had planned to do Together alone. I hope you're doing better and I hope that you can now look at his picture and remember all the good things that happened...not the one bad thing that took him. I'm sorry Girl!! Love Always and forever~*~Jessica~*~

~*~Why is it that love always
starts with a HuG
grows with a kIsS
and ends with a TeAr?!?~*~

Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
11 posted 2000-08-26 01:52 AM


This is so sad and so very moving...a powerful and tragic tale that happens much too often these days.  Wonderful work here.

*Krista Knutson*

"You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back."
-Barbara DeAngelis

Erin
Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527
~Chicago~
12 posted 2000-08-26 02:52 AM


acire~~~what do you mean about dying of oldage??? my friend wasnt old he was only 18 at the time...

jessica~~~you told me about your friend before and i am really sorry about what happened...its just so hard to let go knowing that he was someone that i trusted more then anything...someone to make me smile when i was sad...someone to listen just cuz i wanted to talk...someone that was there for me...one of my best friends...but i know that he is watching down on me as your friend is watching down on you...i havent looked at his pictures in awhile cuz it always makes me cry...

alwye~~~i can name someone else that was hurt (he was shot in the jaw...his teeth are the only thing that protected him from dying...) because of silly gang stuff...and you know what its sad to say that it is getting worse and worse...

Thank you all very much for the replies on this one...you dont know how much they mean to me...


~*~TrUe LoVe Is ThE cLoSeSt ThInG tO hEaVen~*~


Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
13 posted 2000-08-26 11:14 AM


Erin, this poem tells all to well about the reality of violence in our lives.  You've done a great job honoring your friend and I'm glad I had the chance to read this.
LIL.MAMA
Junior Member
since 2000-06-26
Posts 32

14 posted 2000-08-27 02:14 AM


HEY ERIN GREAT POEM IT BROUGHT TEARS TO MY EYEZ BECAUSE ABOUT TWO YEARS AGO I LOST MY BOYFRIEND TO A DRUG OVER DOSE!!! AND I STILL TO THIS DAY FEEL LIKE IT'S MY FAULT BECAUSE WE GOT INTO AN AGUMENT ABOUT 2HOURS BEFORE HE DIED!!! AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF I WAS THE ONE THAT FOUND HIM!!! BUT NE-WAYZ GREAT POEM!!!      
              SARAH

X_me_X
Junior Member
since 2000-08-18
Posts 37

15 posted 2000-08-27 03:08 AM


i liked this poem a lot. it wus sad and im sorry for your loss. all that aside, this wus a great poem and  i like the way u worded all ur emotions.  
Salooma
Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781

16 posted 2000-08-27 10:35 AM


ERIN- Wow....this is such great work, but it was probably very difficult for you to write it....I can imagine...I just lost someone on that Gulf Air crash....a few days ago. It wasn't my best friend, but a relative, a distant one....but it kinda makes you think about life and death more when you know someones gone that still here. Good luck.

Salma
PS Since you are having trouble with icq....do you have msn instant messanger??

Erin
Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527
~Chicago~
17 posted 2000-08-27 03:11 PM


lakewalker~~~it is sad that this is something that we have to live with...i know someone else that was in a gang...he got shot in the mouth...and my best friend knew about it...me and her werent talking at the time and she called me to tell me what happened...and thats how we became friends again....

lil mama~~~i am sorry to hear about your loss...its hard especially when you find the person...

x_me_x~~~im glad you liked it...by the way welcome to passions!!!

salma~~~it wasnt hard for me to write the poem...the hard thing about it was that this was a friend of mine that it is about...i am really sorry to hear about your loss...i didnt even hear about that till right now...its just hard for me to let go...cause i never had a close friend like him die...oh and i am sort of having trouble...and no i dont have msn instant messanger...

thank you all for the replies...you dont know how much they mean to me...


~*~TrUe LoVe Is ThE cLoSeSt ThInG tO hEaVen~*~


Lucius Cade
Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 235
Saskatchewan
18 posted 2000-08-27 04:12 PM


Yes this is a very powerful poem. Racism is a scary subject to begin with and when something like that happens resulting from it, things can get frustrating. I loved your poem.

Lucidity is the answer to all problems

TopGunLauren
Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718
California
19 posted 2000-08-27 04:57 PM


I also lost a friend this last year and your poem was very powerful.Keep up the awsome work!
  Lauren

Erin
Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527
~Chicago~
20 posted 2000-08-27 08:07 PM


lucius~~~this isnt about racism...its about my friend...he got shot and died...because of a gang...

lauren~~~im glad you liked it...i am sorry to hear about your friend...

thanks for the replies...




~*~TrUe LoVe Is ThE cLoSeSt ThInG tO hEaVen~*~


Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #3 » Still Shining Brightly

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary