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Passions in Poetry

My sister's graduation(please reply i want this to be perfect when i give it to her!)

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Jenabou
Member
since 06-13-2000
Posts 223
Oklahoma/Nova Scotia Canada/US


0 posted 06-18-2000 12:05 PM       View Profile for Jenabou   Email Jenabou   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Jenabou's Home Page   View IP for Jenabou

So many things come to mind
when I try to find the words
to tell you how proud I am of
you and all you've accomplished.

Your graduation is
a very precious time. It brings
so many of your memories into focus, and
gives you so many things
to look forward to
in your tomorrows.


Today you take the first step into your new life
and i have to watch you leave
And all tho im crying i want you to know
i am so happy for you

And while you're out there
making a life for yourself
Everyday ill be thinking of you
and wondering how you are

i want to wish you good luck
and i hope all your dreams come true
but the most important thing i want to say is:

May every one of your tomorrows
be as beautiful as you are.

[This message has been edited by Jenabou (edited 06-18-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 Jenna-Nicole Boutilier - All Rights Reserved
Erin
Member Elite
since 06-15-2000
Posts 2681
~Chicago~


1 posted 06-18-2000 01:36 PM       View Profile for Erin   Email Erin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Erin

i think that was a beautiful poem. if someone gave me a poem like that when i graduated or even wrote it for me i would probably cry. i give you props for that poem it can really touch someones heart.
Angel
Senior Member
since 07-02-99
Posts 597
Pennsylvania


2 posted 06-18-2000 04:06 PM       View Profile for Angel   Email Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Angel

It's so wonderful you are so close to your sister  . This was a great poem and I'm sure she loved it.

~Susie


"If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility."
~Henry W
Jenabou
Member
since 06-13-2000
Posts 223
Oklahoma/Nova Scotia Canada/US


3 posted 06-18-2000 06:10 PM       View Profile for Jenabou   Email Jenabou   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Jenabou's Home Page   View IP for Jenabou

thank you  very much for the pleasent comments  
me and my sis are best friends (most of the time) and im gonna give this to her on her graduation day,i havent given it to her yet.
is there anything i should change add/take away??
i want it to be perfect when i give it to her!    
thanx!
~Jen~

[This message has been edited by Jenabou (edited 06-18-2000).]
LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 01-08-2000
Posts 5015


4 posted 06-18-2000 06:12 PM       View Profile for LoveBug   Email LoveBug   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LoveBug

Jena, this poem is perfect just the way it is. I can really relate to it. My sister graduated two years ago, and I felt many of the same things.

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde
Jenabou
Member
since 06-13-2000
Posts 223
Oklahoma/Nova Scotia Canada/US


5 posted 06-18-2000 06:28 PM       View Profile for Jenabou   Email Jenabou   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Jenabou's Home Page   View IP for Jenabou

thanx lovebug
i just wnna make sure this is as good as it can be  
~Jen~
Jeremiah Johnson
Senior Member
since 06-08-2000
Posts 1223
Brooksville, Fl, U.S


6 posted 06-18-2000 06:36 PM       View Profile for Jeremiah Johnson   Email Jeremiah Johnson   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jeremiah Johnson

very good poem. and hey it is the best it can be because it came from your heart and that the greatest gift.

I'm the lord, I'm the havoc, I'm the soul


Angela16
Junior Member
since 11-19-1999
Posts 37
USA


7 posted 06-18-2000 06:37 PM       View Profile for Angela16   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Angela16

I think that was a really great poem! That was how I felt when my sis graduated. You put it into words nicely. Good job!
Jenabou
Member
since 06-13-2000
Posts 223
Oklahoma/Nova Scotia Canada/US


8 posted 06-18-2000 07:43 PM       View Profile for Jenabou   Email Jenabou   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Jenabou's Home Page   View IP for Jenabou

thank you
it did coem form my heart!
and if you guys have no suggestions to make it better then i guess this is the final copy!
thanx again
~Jen~
Snickers
Member
since 05-25-2000
Posts 88
East Haddam, CT


9 posted 06-18-2000 09:02 PM       View Profile for Snickers   Email Snickers   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Snickers

Jen,
I agree with everyone else that this is so very beautiful and no need to change anything.  It's so sweet and beautiful, and very nicely worded.  I especially like the way you ended.  Not only are you a talented poet, but you are a caring sister.  Let us know what your sister's reaction is, I'm sure she'll luv it!

~<3 Alwayz~
  **Nikki**
Isabel Galaxia
Senior Member
since 06-18-2000
Posts 757


10 posted 06-18-2000 09:08 PM       View Profile for Isabel Galaxia   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Isabel Galaxia

That was really good.  I don't think you need to change anything.  She'll love it!
-Bel
Ethan Halo
Senior Member
since 04-28-2000
Posts 820
on the roof again


11 posted 06-19-2000 01:12 PM       View Profile for Ethan Halo   Email Ethan Halo   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ethan Halo's Home Page   View IP for Ethan Halo

great poem. i hope i get something like that when i graduate next year. it's good you are so close to your family. everyone should be so lucky. =)

p.s.
don't change a thing!

We all got somethin' we need to atone for.
Jenabou
Member
since 06-13-2000
Posts 223
Oklahoma/Nova Scotia Canada/US


12 posted 06-19-2000 01:43 PM       View Profile for Jenabou   Email Jenabou   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Jenabou's Home Page   View IP for Jenabou

thanx yall
Jenabou
Member
since 06-13-2000
Posts 223
Oklahoma/Nova Scotia Canada/US


13 posted 06-21-2000 04:43 PM       View Profile for Jenabou   Email Jenabou   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Jenabou's Home Page   View IP for Jenabou

oops!



[This message has been edited by Jenabou (edited 06-21-2000).]
**AANGELLE**
Junior Member
since 06-21-2000
Posts 45


14 posted 06-21-2000 06:17 PM       View Profile for **AANGELLE**   Email **AANGELLE**   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for **AANGELLE**

This is a lovely poem. I wish I felt the same way aout my sisters but we all can't be friends eh?  Maybe in the future.. Your poem made me think about it anyway... Well done!!
ValerieB726
Junior Member
since 06-21-2000
Posts 14
Louisville,OH, USA


15 posted 06-21-2000 06:42 PM       View Profile for ValerieB726   Email ValerieB726   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ValerieB726

Your poem was great! If I received that poem on my gradudation, I would definetly love my sister even more for thinking of me like that! Great Job!
Jenabou
Member
since 06-13-2000
Posts 223
Oklahoma/Nova Scotia Canada/US


16 posted 06-22-2000 11:13 AM       View Profile for Jenabou   Email Jenabou   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Jenabou's Home Page   View IP for Jenabou

Thank you
Thank you very much  

The world is like a mirror; frown at it, and it frowns at you.Smile and it smiles too
Be kind 4 everyone u meet is fighting a harder battle




[This message has been edited by Jenabou (edited 06-22-2000).]
mr0001
Junior Member
since 06-09-2000
Posts 39


17 posted 07-25-2000 09:00 PM       View Profile for mr0001   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for mr0001

very good -- very very very good    bye now i'm sure you've given this to your sister already, but even if i'd read it earlier, i'd have no suggestions!  good work.  

       mr



"crazy" is just who you are...amplified.

some people draw the outlines in life, i chose to add the color.

Euclid the Kid
Member
since 07-15-2000
Posts 51
Eugene,Oregon


18 posted 07-25-2000 10:31 PM       View Profile for Euclid the Kid   Email Euclid the Kid   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Euclid the Kid

This is the perfect gift.  It's from you--It's from the heart- and it will be a constant remider to your sister how much you do love & miss her.  I hope you print it out and frame it- so that she can display and treasure it always. Good Show! (Dean)... the Kid
Lovely_Kris
Member
since 07-11-2000
Posts 178


19 posted 07-26-2000 06:07 AM       View Profile for Lovely_Kris   Email Lovely_Kris   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lovely_Kris

Very good I think this is a great gift. I think you did a great job and i hope to read more.
Lovely_Kris
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 04-30-2000
Posts 16920
Ontario, Canada


20 posted 07-26-2000 06:59 AM       View Profile for Kit McCallum   Email Kit McCallum   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kit McCallum

Oh Jen ... this was just beautiful! What a heart-felt tribute to your sister ... lovely!  

Best wishes,
/Kit
Jeremy Halstead
Senior Member
since 06-01-2000
Posts 572
Morris, Ill. U.S.A


21 posted 07-27-2000 02:30 AM       View Profile for Jeremy Halstead   Email Jeremy Halstead   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jeremy Halstead

I wouldn't change a thing about this poem...It is perfect.  Leaving out a rhyme scheme or normal rhythm actually gave it a really sentimental quality...admirable work.

Jeremy

"Time is the matter, and in a matter of that all wounds will heal and all scars shall fade."
Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 09-16-2007
Posts 8075
Realm of Supernatural


22 posted 12-15-2007 10:17 PM       View Profile for Artic Wind   Email Artic Wind   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Artic Wind

Very Much Enjoyed



ARCTIC WIND
 
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