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Teen Poetry #3
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An old poem re-edited!
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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An old poem re-edited! |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA 
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A whole new day erupts, A needle by a thread-- The wind is pierced by drops Of tears November bled. The leaves swirl in their flight, So weak and short of breath, While reaching for new height, They glide into the depth Of dirty liquid skies, Where heaven quickly smears And echoes of their cries Roam through deserted years. The sad fate of the lost,-- To seek the truth in mud When by the window crossed The truth is hung to rot... Just take a look outside The skin hangs off its bones November, crucified, In all three voices moans... Check out my poetry here: http://cafepoetry.com/stage1/andrey_kneller.htm#My%20Hamlet |
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| © Copyright 2000 Andrey Kneller - All Rights Reserved | |||
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StarPryncess17 Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932Colorado |
WOW! this is a beautiful poem!  definately leaves a nice visual! I love all of your writing, there just seems to be so much experience and depth. Love Always~*~Jessica~*~   "Love is the product of our discontentment with ourselves." "Bleeding hearts release tears of fire" "work like you don't need money, love like you've never been hurt,and live everyday as if it's your last" "Shoot for the moon, if you shall fall short, you always have the stars to fall upon" |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
StarPrincess17, thank you for such a nice comment. It really means a lot to me when people say that they enjoy my work. Just a suggestion to everyone who reads this, read this one very carefully, there are many images that aren't evident right away, but if you look into it, you'll see what I was talking about! |
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Kandi Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 354North of Hell |
WOW! Amazing! I absolutely loved it! Very descriptive and deep and introspective. I especially love the rhyme scheme of every other line, which is hard to do, but you've mastered it quite well in this well-written poem. Great job - you never let me down Much Love Kandi aka Kris< !signature--> ~*All that I have found in reason is reason just to not believe *~ ~*Things you see the way you see them will never be seen again*~ [This message has been edited by Kandi (edited 06-17-2000).] |
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peanogrl83 Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202 |
Ahhh Master! Most definitely one of my favorites by you - tis already printed out and on my wall. ;.) I've read it about 25 times - just letting the words kind of sink in. Wow. Spectacular. ;.) Vreni |
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Lani_DarkOne Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 152UK |
This is so deep. I read it over and over and I think I understand what is behind it.Every time I read it again, I see something different, I like intriguing poems like this. Look forward to reading more of your work! Lani "You could be my unintended Choice, to live my life extended...." Muse "Even when we're apart we'll still be under the same sky," LJ Smith "Hiding in the musty attic is Elusive She sits, cross legged in a midst dark cobwebs Several forms scurry to seek shelter Beneath her levitating shadow. Her back rigid , eyes glassy Gazes intently at time escaping Sliding, smoothly, as sand sprinkles Through the hour glass, A single tear grazes her misty cheek." Lani |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
Kris (btw I love that name), thank you for your warm comments, keep 'em comming (Smile). I just hope that everyone sees the images behind the words of this poem... Personally, I think this is one of my favorites of my own work. Vreni, how much bare wall space do you have left? You must have a big house or else your own poems must be covering 99% of it. But anyway, I feel honored, thank you! Lani, I'm glad someone understood the images behind the words... I would explain everything, but I rather let you guys figure it all out by yourselves. Thanks Check out my poetry here: http://cafepoetry.com/stage1/andrey_kneller.htm#My%20Hamlet |
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