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Teen Poetry #3
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alone,broken,confused? (help title!)
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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alone,broken,confused? (help title!) |
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anomaly187 Member
since 2000-06-15
Posts 284San Francisco,CA,US |
Making love your born...you die it's too bad it's not as easy as that Anerisms of the brain a painless silence i am all alone In the mirror at 3 a.m. you wonder what existence is hypnotizing yourself is no way to find out Cold shocks ripple down your spine and you wonder Is this winter? Is this winter? Is this winter? A broken twig scattered on the ground it symbolizes you but you don't know why Infinite worlds in which you dream You see the ways your life would have turned and think to yourself how it would have been Confusion spreads and hangs in the air You want to obtain nirvana Ecstacy is what you bare That big red target on your forehead attracks the taunts that you always hear. You can't decide if you love or like her You know it's love Confusion does not always make you so confused "My heart is broke,but i have some glue. Help me inhale,and mend it with you. We'll float around,and hang out on clouds, then we'll come down,and have a hangover--have a hangover" |
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| © Copyright 2000 Alexei - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
First of all, I really enjoyed the last two lines of this poem... Second of all, your signature rocks! I love Nirvana and it's good to see people with good taste in music... As for the title, "You know it's love..." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "The sun is gone, but I have a light..." |
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Angel Senior Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 551Pennsylvania |
I really enjoyed this. I agree with Master, "You Know It's Love..." is a great title  ."If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility." ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow "Driftwood" |
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Novacaine For The Soul Member
since 2000-05-26
Posts 122New Orleans |
dear anomaly, i have to admit, i like this poem a good deal better than your first post... it shows more depth of thought to the casual reader who may not have access to the same emotions and feelings as you, the author... i'd also like to second Master on giving kudos for the nirvana thing... *heh* i feel so ancient when i talk to current high schoolers that have never heard of Nirvana or Cobain... anyway... i wont go into my "new alternative sucks" speech, just leave it at that and once more commend you on a fine poem... sincerely, a sad tomato you're such a beautiful freak... i wish there were more just like you... |
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StarPryncess17 Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932Colorado |
Right on. This poem is wonderful. and I also agree with Master, "you know it's love..." is an excellent title. Your words depict a lot of thought as well as talent  . Beautifully done. Keep 'em comin! Love Always~*~Jessica~*~  "Love is the product of our discontentment with ourselves." "Bleeding hearts release tears of fire" "work like you don't need money, love like you've never been hurt,and live everyday as if it's your last" "Shoot for the moon, if you shall fall short, you always have the stars to fall upon" |
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anomaly187 Member
since 2000-06-15
Posts 284San Francisco,CA,US |
thank you all for the wonderful replies..i was actually hesitant on posting this one for some reason..oh well. "My heart is broke,but i have some glue. Help me inhale,and mend it with you. We'll float around,and hang out on clouds, then we'll come down,and have |
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Lani_DarkOne Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 152UK |
Absolutely beautiful...and very powerful...one of the poems that is so full of feeling.. "You could be my unintended Choice, to live my life extended...." Muse "Even when we're apart we'll still be under the same sky," LJ Smith "Hiding in the musty attic is Elusive She sits, cross legged in a midst dark cobwebs Several forms scurry to seek shelter Beneath her levitating shadow. Her back rigid , eyes glassy Gazes intently at time escaping Sliding, smoothly, as sand sprinkles Through the hour glass, A single tear grazes her misty cheek." Lani |
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Isabel Galaxia Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733 |
Wow, that was really good! It makes you think, and last few lines were great. Keep it up Bel |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
"A broken twig scattered on the ground it symbolizes you but you don't know why Infinite worlds in which you dream You see the ways your life would have turned and think to yourself how it would have been" WOW!!! that's all i can say..keep writing One question --- I see that you have referred to a tumor in two poems already. I'm wondering if this means something personally? If it's to personal, please don't feel obligated to answer the question I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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