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In her presence
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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In her presence |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA 
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“Now I shall spy on beauty as none has spied on it yet...”—V. Nabokov (from Pale Fire) *** I’ve walked through mazes, labyrinths and webs. I’ve sat in churches listening to hymns and seeking essence. But if I ever loved,-- then in her presence; if ever I heard God,-- then in her steps. A perfect symmetry of strangeness and of beauty,-- Her skin complexion changes with the light. I’ve never saw a star this close, this bright,-- I’ve never loved before, -- now it’s my duty... < !signature--> Check out my poetry here: http://cafepoetry.com/stage1/andrey_kneller.htm#My%20Hamlet [This message has been edited by Master (edited 06-14-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Andrey Kneller - All Rights Reserved | |||
LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
This is a beautiful poem, Master! How about "My duty"? I'm not too good with titles!  "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde |
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TearsOfPearls Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 322Vereeniging, South-Africa |
This is really a beautiul poem, and I kinda agree with LoveBug on the title. I think "My duty" will be a suitable title. Waves...amazing hey? Wind blowing over smoothe ocean water creates shear. The longer the wind blows, and the futher the fetch, the more energy gets transferred from the wind to the water. What started off as a breeze 1 000km away, ends up as a glass-faced barrel at some far off beach. |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
Thank you both for your suggestions, but I think I'm going to title it "In her presence" |
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Kandi Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 354North of Hell |
As I read this deeply moving and genuinely beautiful poem, only one thought came to my mind: I wish someone would feel that way about me. I think we all just want someone to find us - even our strange flaws - beautiful. That's why I really loved this poem. One thing I like about your work is that it never fails to reach me somewhere deep inside. You truly are the Master. Ps - I agree with you on the title - I like "In Her Presence" Much Love and Respect~ Kristin< !signature--> ~*All that I have found in reason is reason just to not believe *~ ~*Things you see the way you see them will never be seen again*~ [This message has been edited by Kandi (edited 06-15-2000).] |
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Crystalina123 Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 228 |
I like the title in her presense. I tried to write a poem with a religious theme to it called Dear God but I think I failed where you succeeded. Very good poem. It's nice to see a happy poem here!! Crystal Maybe God has us meet a few wrong people so that when we meet the right one we can truly appreciate the gift. |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
Kandi, I'd just wish she'd love me back... Some time ago I wrote a poem with the following lines: "I am burning from desire but this fire feels so cold. Cupid's arrow hit a sparrow, -- missed the lonesome world, Higher... higher... take me higher! This is not enough, I've been honored with great sorrow, I'm alone in love." Crystal, this is one of the very few poems that I was able to succeed with the religios theme... I have a hard time with that also. Don't give up, keep writing! Thanks for reading my work! |
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