Teen Poetry #3 |
How i feel ( a poem of expression) |
The Mike Sacks Member
since 1999-08-29
Posts 129brooklyn ny |
If you can't see the way i feel, you must be blind. every move you make, and tought you say, leaves me in lightless mind. I see no conclusion, in lifes disilusions. that could show me where to find, the day or night, of endless might, to tell you your gentel and kind. |
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© Copyright 2000 The Mike Sacks - All Rights Reserved | |||
mickel2995 Junior Member
since 2000-05-24
Posts 48 |
I like the way you rhyme and the way it flows, good job! With love, Micale |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I'm leaving your poem in only 3 forums. The rest are being locked. Please don't post the same poem in every forum. |
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Isabelle Member
since 1999-08-25
Posts 176Indiana |
Very sweet poem. I too like the way it rhymes and how it flows so smoothly. Keep it up. Jeanna "Poetry is the music of the souls, and above all, of great and feeling souls." ~Voltaire~ |
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Novacaine For The Soul Member
since 2000-05-26
Posts 122New Orleans |
dear mike: i found the misspellings to be an almost insurmountable obstacle to the poem's excellence (i suppose that's what happens when you run up against a poetic perfectionist like myself *heh*)... aside from this i had two comments about the poem itself: on positive, and one that may require a closer look by yourself... first, i really love the phrase "lightless mind"... it's a unique and powerful image... also, i have trouble comprehending "every thought you say"... i suppose i've always concieved of "thought" as a silent, cognitive process, not an oratorical one... anyway... just wanted to share my thoughts and feel free to ignore or look into that... *heh*... sincerely, a sad tomato you're such a beautiful freak... i wish there were more just like you... |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Enjoyed ARCTIC WIND |
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