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Teen Poetry #3
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Love Sonata: Requiem
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Love Sonata: Requiem |
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Novacaine For The Soul Member
since 2000-05-26
Posts 122New Orleans |
Love Sonata: Requiem I wish my love could give thy heart reprieve From all thy sorrows, sighs, and mournful thoughts. Oh, that my lips had words to halt thy grief Or hands caress to wipe the tears I've wrought. Now silently thou lay'st in sweet escape Thy wells of fear and absence swell no more, Yet still my love doth trouble me awake To grieve the loss of she whom I adore. Oh precious slumber, hearken unto me. Envelope me into this silent night! Oh sleep enfold me now that I may dream Of she that hath composed my heart's delight! Thus in thy dreams, my love, I come to thee Where neither pain nor grief can follow me. you're such a beautiful freak... i wish there were more just like you... |
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mickel2995 Junior Member
since 2000-05-24
Posts 48 |
Thus in thy dreams, my love, I come to thee Where neither pain nor grief can follow me. This speaks for itslelf!! What a wonderful line that perfectly descripts the whole poem!! Wonderful, wonderful!!! With all my love, micale |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
First, I love your username!! Second, this poem is excellent! A beautiful sonnet with a touch of sadness....please accept my welcome and check your email too!!  |
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Angel Senior Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 551Pennsylvania |
Wow..that was amazing. It was absolutely perfect. ~Susie "If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility." ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow "Driftwood" |
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peanogrl83 Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202 |
Indeed, I am duly impressed! Quite the formidable first post! ;.) You seem to have an apt grasp/control of the Old English/ Shakespearean english you use - impressive in of itself. I find that many poets (myself included.. lol) blunderingly attempts (and fails miserably), to use Shakespearean to create a meaningful, much less coherent, poem. lol. Nice work, keep it up! ;.) Vreni |
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ChibiDeathscythe Member
since 2000-06-09
Posts 128 |
"Envelope me into this silent night! Oh sleep enfold me now that I may dream Of she that hath composed my heart's delight! Thus in thy dreams, my love, I come to thee Where neither pain nor grief can follow me." This blew me away! Great job  |
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Isabelle Member
since 1999-08-25
Posts 176Indiana |
This poem was amazing. I too liked the Shakespearen language that you tried to betray. Keep up the work. I can't wait till i see you post again. Jeanna P.S. Thanks for your comment on my poem "Poetry is the music of the souls, and above all, of great and feeling souls." ~Voltaire~ |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Absolutely gorgeous! I love the archaic language, the wonderful flow....everything. I applaud you on a job well done and welcome you to passions! *Krista Knutson* "Thought is real, physical is the illusion..." Albert from ~What Dreams May Come~ |
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Lucius Cade Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 235Saskatchewan |
I have always wanted to write like that. With the old English, and different style. I look forward to more of your stuff. Lucidity is the answer to all problems |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
Wonderful! My only suggestion think about line 10, it doesn't read as well as the rest of the poem. Read the poetry of "Skyfyre" from the "Open poetry forum," you two have similar styles... Thanks for posting! |
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mr0001 Junior Member
since 2000-06-09
Posts 39 |
amazing -- absolutely amazing!! i don't even think i have words to describe...very few people of today can write in that language and still be understood!! wonderful job! welcome to passions -- i'm new too  mr  "crazy" is just who you are...amplified. some people draw the outlines in life, i chose to add the color. |
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Novacaine For The Soul Member
since 2000-05-26
Posts 122New Orleans |
dear poets, thank you dearly for all your kind comments... i have to say, this isn't my usual style of writing, but i've lately been trying my hand at the sonnet (perhaps because i've been reading through shakespeare's works? *heh*) in hopes of creating a truly beautiful love poem... i'm particularly honored by the comments made by PoetDeVine, Alwye, Lucius, and Master -- all of whom are poets i greatly admire... for those of you that were for some reason impressed by the archaic language, the only suggestion i can give you is to read Donne's and Shakespeare's sonnets (or plays) and just let it sink in... again, thank you for all your kind comments and it's good to be back here at the forums... hopefully for a more extended stay than the last time... sincerely, a sad tomato you're such a beautiful freak... i wish there were more just like you... |
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Kandi Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 354North of Hell |
Wow! This is so good! I usually have a lot to say, but this time...I'm pretty much speechless! lol  GREAT job!PS - I like the quote in your signature ~~~Kristin~~~ ~*All that I have found in reason is reason just to not believe *~ ~*Things you see the way you see them will never be seen again*~ |
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angel6917 Member
since 2000-01-14
Posts 478WI |
A very good poem, and something I greatly admire... I hope to see more from you again very soon... Love, Kristi Lynn |
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anomaly187 Member
since 2000-06-15
Posts 284San Francisco,CA,US |
first of all i am just speachless after reading this and you are so veyr talented..and i await your next poem..second of all 'new alternative' does suck and it's a crim that people don't know about Nirvana and Cobain. "My heart is broke,but i have some glue. Help me inhale,and mend it with you. We'll float around,and hang out on clouds, then we'll come down,and have a hangover--have a hangover" |
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Tangomage New Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 7 |
Wonderful poem here. You use language very well. It is simple, yet complex. You are a true poet. Every man dies, but not every man really lives. |
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Novacaine For The Soul Member
since 2000-05-26
Posts 122New Orleans |
dear poets, thank you for your kind and encouraging words... i gambled a bit when i posted this sonnet due to the fact that i only know the basics of sonnet form and also quite aware that i would probably be unable to reproduce the magic that flowed from my pen in writing this one... for those of you who are interested, it was written on the back of a notebook on a greyhound bus travelling from chicago to des moines the night after i left the arms of my dearest love... due in part to the number of responses i've recieved on this poem, i'm trying my hand at another sonnet -- this time for my dying grandfather... i hope you all will give me your thoughts on that one also when (and if) i finish it... now for a few more personal notes: angel: you need to post some more work girly-girl... i miss seeing your name next to poems in the forum... *hehe* anomaly: it's a great honor to be complimented by such a superb poet as yourself and we'll have to see what we can do about educating the younger generations... perhaps a series of poems about Generation X's leading voice is in order... *hehe* tangomage: thank you for your comments, they were (as you yourself might say) simple, yet complex... and very touching... sincerely, a sad tomato you're such a beautiful freak... i wish there were more just like you... |
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Isabel Galaxia Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733 |
Wow-that was really good! I'm impressed. Luv the poem and the language. Keep it up! Bel |
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Jeremiah Johnson Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223Brooksville, Fl, U.S |
well you know i had to read this sense i became a fan of yours these speek such a story i love it keep this kind of stuff up which i know you will. I'm the lord, I'm the havoc, I'm the soul |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Enjoyed ARCTIC WIND |
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