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Dark Poetry #2
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Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia

0 posted 2000-12-26 04:58 PM


For anyone reading this I'd like your opinion on what  you think it is about. I'm not sure I achieved what I set out to, so an unbiased view would be appreciated.


Well met, good day, I see the dance
Deception hid by eloquence
Could I entice a fine romance
Corrupted by your innocence

You wink, you blush, I see you sigh
In gentler times of days gone bye
Romantic dreams that lift me high
In your eyes, see wanton cry

A look, a smile, a fleeting glance
Corrupted by your innocence
Wander through this flirt parlance
Forever stay in my demesne

Turn around, you cower, you weep
Soon, too soon, I'll let you sleep
You have promised and must keep
Don't lead me on the path so steep

Romantic dreams that show a chance
I offer now, some recompense
For your eyes began romance
Deception hid by eloquence

And now the price is nearly paid
Tomorrow you will never stray
Don't be scared don't be afraid
It's just your flesh with which you pay

For your eyes began romance
Corrupted by your innocence
You'll not again begin the dance
Of deception hid by eloquence



Religion is for people frightened about going to hell - Spirituality is for people who have been there. Anon.


© Copyright 2000 Lynne Dale - All Rights Reserved
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
1 posted 2000-12-27 06:55 AM


Deception hid by eloquence


so,lines of yours here were wonderful...and could be a poem title...hmmm got me thinking now, Kethry

*smiles
~Wynter

"The worst prison would be a closed heart".
...Pope John Paul II



Lana
Member
since 2000-12-26
Posts 68

2 posted 2000-12-27 09:07 AM


well, I'll be blunt.  Someone was innocent, they were made a  fool of and they're going to be more hurt.  By someone is sounds less than human?
Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
3 posted 2000-12-27 11:11 AM


Wynter,
I was going to call it Deception hid by Innocence, so you are really close with the title.

Lana, You got it in one. That was what I was trying to convey but didn't really know if I'd made it.

Thanks to both of you for responding.

Be well, you're swell
Kethry


Religion is for people frightened about going to hell - Spirituality is for people who have been there. Anon.


Lana
Member
since 2000-12-26
Posts 68

4 posted 2000-12-27 11:18 AM


good, it is always the innocent who suffer....nice to meet you
Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression
5 posted 2000-12-27 11:47 AM


Very nicey done,
enjoyed the read.

Gloom

Isis
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland
6 posted 2000-12-28 08:46 PM


Innocent in the romance department, hurt feelings, reality not being what was 'seen'?
How is that?  Or I agree with Lana LOL
Happy New Year Kethry,
Love
Isis  

*The heart of education is the education of the heart...*
~Isis~~Sovereign of the Spirit.


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