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Dark Poetry #2
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Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression

0 posted 2000-12-05 08:03 AM


Dirty white time battered skin
Soul thrown back
Dark as the shadow he’s in,
Weak as the dust the wind swirls
Spirit black,
Matted hair of dirty blonde curls,
Sprawled in the gray alleyway
Can’t stand up,
Endures the pain one more day
Wash all the thoughts by drinking
Empty cup,
Unmoving and not thinking,
Dirty white downward he’ll spin.

Gloom


© Copyright 2000 Aszard Drazlom - All Rights Reserved
JOY 14
Senior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 1419
Wisconsin USA
1 posted 2000-12-05 11:14 AM


What a great concept, Dirty white, for this peice.Really grabs your attention for the message at the end. Well done!

Joy

Hardrock
Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 948
New Hampshire, USA
2 posted 2000-12-05 12:18 PM


Great imagery here...good stuff.  Very well done.  Hardrock
fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958

3 posted 2000-12-05 02:13 PM


whoa!  I liked this one.  The title caught my eye.  Cool paradox.  I like the way you always describe only the physical details in your poetry, and the leave it up to the reader to decide who it is that is being talked about, if anyone at all.

Cool concept, cool poem

Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression
4 posted 2000-12-06 05:56 AM


Thank you, Joy 14,
Glad you liked my words
As I delve in to concepts.

Thank you, Hardrock,
Pleased that the words can touch you
With enjoyment.

Thank you, fractal007,
The concept, the meanings are best if left
To the observer, or in the case of poetry,
The Reader.
Thank you for reading and responding.

Gloom

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