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Dark Poetry #2
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On Third Street
| Dark Poetry #2 |
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On Third Street |
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Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
Crushing blow Ground with the sound of crying Red seeps out Flows about, Pool of life slowly growing Death unveils Laughter pales Chilling in misery’s bed Death will meet On concrete With out comforting words said; Spirit goes, Finally he’s now flying. Gloom |
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| © Copyright 2000 Aszard Drazlom - All Rights Reserved | |||
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Sweet poem! The imagery here is wonderful. I like the internal rhyme you used at the beginning. |
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Suzanne Arlene Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 377Ontario, Canada |
I must say you do write interestin stuff. ? for you. Should you not feel free while alive and not wait for death. Suzanne |
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Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
Thank you, Fractal007, Glad you enjoyed my words, Some say I put too many rhymes in my poetry, Pay to close attention to structure, And pick dubious subjects; Perhaps I do, but sweet is in the eye of the reader. Your words are kind to this man that would be a poet. Thank you, Susanne Arlene, I write only what my spirit feels, But what else can we do while awaiting death. I don’t rush toward death, I know it will be along Soon enough. Gloom |
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Hardrock Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 948New Hampshire, USA |
Every city has a Third Street. In Chicago it's called 79th & Stoney Island; in New York it's in the Bronx.....and somewhere out there someone is dying on Third Street. (Just my perception of your poem). Nicely done...enjoyed this. Hardrock |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
An interesting poem...made me think way back...my favorite 3rd Street is the 3rd Street Promenade in Santa Monica...James |
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Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
Thank you, Hardrock, Yes, every city has a street like 3rd, And some even call it something else, But if you watch the events it’s all the same. Glad you enjoyed. Thank you, Jmlee12345, Not familiar with that corner, Mine are here on the East Coast, Perhaps theses are a touch darker and colder. I am pleased you like my poem and that it gave you a Memory freshly remembered. Gloom |
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poutprincess Senior Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 735Perth, Western Australia, Australia |
i like this alot.....very nice. ~Dawn "Steady as it comes, right down to you, I've said it all, so maybe we're a Bliss of another kind" Bliss-Tori Amos |
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Swamp¤Faeryie Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 393fairyland....of course;) |
loved this,it was kind of far away and disjointed in a very joined sorta way. Well anyhow,enjoyed reading this. swampie "Though thy crest be shorn and shaven,thou "i said" art sure no craven." Ghastly grim and ancient raven,wandering from the nightly shore,tell me what |
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Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
Thank you, Princess Dawn, I am pleased with your enjoyment of my words. Thank you, Swamp Faeryie I did hope to take the reader to the street, But only in the mind with the safety of words, Glad you saw the view. Gloom |
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dragonpoe Senior Member
since 2000-11-12
Posts 608Palm Bay, Florida |
"Some say I put too many rhymes in my poetry," <-- Never too much rhyme, dear Professor. For me, rhyme is the lifeline of poetry, it is challenging to put good rhyme into a piece of work and make it read smooth, and the best of poets can manage it. You manage it well  Enjoyed the read. With the word, I am mighty, with the pen I am free.. dragonpoe |
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