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Dark Poetry #2
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Main Street Drain
| Dark Poetry #2 |
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Main Street Drain |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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"SSsssshh...." A whispered bit of steam drifted out of Main Street's drain... around the cover, creeping dream... enough to make me back away... I saw the fog of lifting seep and smothering upon my feet I smelled the stench of sewer's fog-- dizzy in illusion's sway. And all about me, ants on hill... peoples off in search of thrill. and I transfixed, upon the sight-- ghost dance in the heat of night. All the lights about me changed, the bus departed--I remained. I saw the cover--pressure cook-- bubble, boiling - it shook... and no one gave a second look, until it volleyed through the sky. I watched its flight - majestic arc - it rose, it fell, with dazzling spark, I counted change, as bus arrived... amused to hear them, wonder, "why"... |
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| © Copyright 2000 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
Xeonox
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764CA, USA |
simply majestic. I loved it. Superb!!! Ronil (The sweet sound of summer sends serenity through my soul searching for that evermore solitude.) |
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Hardrock Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 948New Hampshire, USA |
Serenity...Ahhh, this was just too good!!! Only those who have lived in a larger city could really appreciate the imagery here...so real, so true. I could almost smell the stench of the drain....and I have seen those covers launched, when the sewer gas ignites. I could even hear the roar of the bus and see the faces. Very well done, excellent. Hardrock |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Cool! I never knew that sewer covers launched on a regular basis, in the big city. I always thought that was just in the movies, where some monster runs around in the sewer wreaking havoc. THis was an awesome poem! I gotta go to the big city sometime, and watch the explosions! |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Vivid is a good word to describe this!! It's also scary!!! |
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JOY 14 Senior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 1419Wisconsin USA |
This is great stuff. Wonderfuly strange and creative. Dish me up some more waiter!  Joy |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Want to thank you all-this one was an experiment for me...normally? I write from memory, but no, I have never witnessed this happening. I was just looking for an appropriate metaphor for the pressures of city life. Thanks again...this one was fun for me. |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
PSsst, hey you? yeah you! ya got some fad imagery here hon, captured the city really well. I can hear the squeak of the buses brakes as he comes to a halt, while you're countin your change hon. I agree with Sharon.. very vivid! "If my words could blanket the skies and fill every corner and crevice of this earth, still this won't be enough" "Maree Russo" |
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Jannel Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 492Muncie, IN, USA |
this was really cool. and worked as a great metaphor. i grew up in a really small town (of about 800) and then lived at a lake subdiviion about 20 minutes out of a larger town, and so when i lived in indianapolis two summers ago, i was so overwhelmed by the lack of opportunities for relaxation. crazy stuff. you caaptured it well. jann elizabeth |
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Scarlet Lady Member
since 2000-02-11
Posts 242Midwest |
Whoa.....I almost missed this! I read it totally transfixed! Hats off to you my dear for an excellent write and just too good for words! Loved it....a real keeper! You really outdid yourself this time.....  |
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