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Dark Poetry #2
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2000-11-24 04:50 AM


No. It's not a simple life.
There is no parity.
There is no rule, no measured speak...
and I've no clarity.
Everything of hurt, entwines...
Each raw nerve, touches the other.
Every hurt is amplified
and pride of cry is smothered.
All my pain and teeth in clench,
every restless moment spent...
every footstep towards the door
and every footfall back for more -

Oh damn my life! Be it undone...
I rock myself to sleep...
pounding head against the wall
to prove I can still weep.

I have to let it go, I know...
I must let this be.
Brave a trail of tears again -
to journey on my blistered feet.
Yet angels' choir of memory,
harmony of seraphim,
bewitchment of a blasphemy
oh may I dream? please...
     dream of him?

© Copyright 2000 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
taramw
Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 738

1 posted 2000-11-24 06:03 AM


Woah!! This is one fabulous piece!    I saw the very image as I read every line... well done!  Take care  

~ Tara ~


"A poem should not mean, but be" - Archibald MacLeish

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

2 posted 2000-11-24 07:39 AM


This is beautiful wording:

"I have to let it go, I know...
I must let this be.
Brave a trail of tears again -
to journey on my blistered feet.
Yet angels' choir of memory,
harmony of seraphim,
bewitchment of a blasphemy
oh may I dream? please...
     dream of him?"




What is that you express in your eyes? It seems to me more than all the words I have read in my life.

Walt Whitman


marcos
New Member
since 2000-11-22
Posts 8

3 posted 2000-11-24 09:33 PM


this is beautiful, and i really, truly mean that in its unadorned sense i.e., beautiful without the quotation marks... wow, when i read a poem like this i am totally humbled.  its really amazing, and what i find really great about it is your allusion to paradox (i think anyway? hahahah) i.e. everything of hurt entwines/each raw nerve touches the other...but i think one of the greatest lines is  

"every foostep towards the door
and every footfall back for more"

I honestly thought your poem was great

look forward to reading some more.

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
4 posted 2000-11-24 09:33 PM


Serenity~
This just happens to be an excellent piece of writing.
I like the way you're stretching ...
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

EagleOne
Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829
Between a laugh and a tear...
5 posted 2000-11-25 08:12 AM


Your words always seem to convey the feelings with such power. Take care!!!

"The heart and soul have no illusion of boundries when friendship is the quest"
~ My Angel.


serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

6 posted 2000-11-26 05:04 AM


Tara, Kathleen, marcos, Mom, and the dear Eagle...thank you much...I truly appreciate you all...and now..hello? I must be going...gotta sleep some time, and who knows? I just might dream....grin...
Scarlet Lady
Member
since 2000-02-11
Posts 242
Midwest
7 posted 2000-11-26 12:24 PM


one word describes this piece of poetry


       INCREDIBLE!!!!!!!!!


I have to let it go, I know...
I must let this be.
Brave a trail of tears again -
to journey on my blistered feet.


If we can do this.....how wonderful it would be!  I loved it.....every word!  Thank you!


dragonpoe
Senior Member
since 2000-11-12
Posts 608
Palm Bay, Florida
8 posted 2000-11-26 12:36 PM


Very well done! The  flow is smooth and I love the rhythm and rhyme of this piece.
Enjoyed it very much

With the word, I am mighty, with the pen I am free..
dragonpoe

Jannel
Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 492
Muncie, IN, USA
9 posted 2000-11-27 03:28 PM


this is so beautiful. my favorite line was "pounding my head against the wall to prove i can still weep" wow.

jann elizabeth

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