»
Archives
»
Dark Poetry #2
»
My Foe, My Son
| Dark Poetry #2 |
|
My Foe, My Son |
|
|
Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas 
|
There was a time I loved him, Before, before the time of sin Growing slowly in her womb Before, before it was a tomb. Elise, my pride, my wife Who brought such color to my life, Who shared with me a secret joy: Firstborn son, our little boy. Her belly and our love both grew Before, before we ever knew That as the time of birth came nigh One of us would surely die. There was sweat, there was pain, There was thunder, there was rain. The midwife came and did her best; My demonic son did the rest. A slap, a breath, and my son cried And Elise was silent; in birth she died. The midwife secreted him away Less one more end life that day. Elise consumed upon the pyre, My soul consumed with inner fire. Taken from me my lovely wife, Demonic son who thieved her life. There was a time I loved him, Before, before the time of sin And my only goal in life: To kill the man who killed my wife. Alicat Note: This poem is a work of fiction, inspired by a play I am still writing. < !signature--> If I were any more laid back, I'd be in a coma. [This message has been edited by Alicat (edited 11-24-2000).] |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Alastair Adamson - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Alicat- WOW...this is incredible!! extremely powerful! you had me hanging on every word. really glad to know this is fiction..  i can't wait until the play is in production...i'll be there on opening night.. Awesome, my friend.. hugs, -vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, you have not truely met the poet." -vlraynes |
||
|
Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Phew, I to am glad this is fiction. Excellent writing Ali I really enjoyed it yes can't wait til the play is in production. Maree "If my words could blanket the skies and fill every corner and crevice of this earth, still this won't be enough" "Maree Russo" |
||
|
taramw Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 738 |
AWESOME!! Would love to read the play one day! Full of intrigue I am sure! ~ Tara ~ "A poem should not mean, but be" - Archibald MacLeish |
||
|
WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Ali this is a....well I don't quite know what to say. It was well written and really caught me by surprise. I'm glad you mentioned it was fiction, it is a really sad story. |
||
|
Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
I'm impressed Ali... I truly am! Great writing! |
||
|
fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
I'm with Vicky. I look forward to seeing the play. It sounds like it will be like a Shakespearian tragedy. Taken from me my lovely wife, Demonic son who thieved her life. Although perhaps it's all a matter of perspective. Maybe fate/God had some reason in taking the speaker's wife away, and replacing her with the lone son... |
||
|
Hardrock Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 948New Hampshire, USA |
Alicat....Bravo!! Bravo!! Well done piece. Excellent work. Look forward to more. Hardrock |
||
|
Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Hmmm... Dark indeedy... A play? Wow..that's cool... Well...I like this - reminds me of a fantasy novel I once read...can't recall the name as of now.. Good write Ali! KThe wind shifts like this: Like a human without illusions... This is how the wind shifts: Like a human, heavy and heavy, Who does not care. W.S |
||
|
firecrakker Member
since 2000-10-20
Posts 235Virginia |
Alicat!! Excellent writing, fiction or not! (Thankfully, so).. I was enthralled! Sheila |
||
|
EagleOne Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829Between a laugh and a tear... |
Riveting!!! Excellent work! "The heart and soul have no illusion of boundries when friendship is the quest" ~ My Angel. |
||
|
wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
wow was it the antichrist was it was it...woowee i can understand this one loud and clear for a lil one i was very bitter toward for awhile. good job 'cat |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
