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Dark Poetry #2
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When The Heart Turns Black
| Dark Poetry #2 |
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When The Heart Turns Black |
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dragonpoe Senior Member
since 2000-11-12
Posts 608Palm Bay, Florida |
When the Heart Turns Black The world used to be all blue and glitter Rotating in perfect unison to that of my beating heart. And the waterfalls sweet serenade would soothe Any troubled mind I’d have then. Now the earthly smell nauseates me to no end And I wish I could stop the spinning, it’s out of control. No water cleanses this soul, for I rain down my own Sorrow that no sun could warm. Stars that drifted off to slumber and sprinkled dust Upon the dreaming mind, offering release from the terrors; Now the terrors are real and dreams are nightmares And the dust is the dust, falling upon my grave. Wilted, wounded, world of lost Nailed me to my wooden cross No dream may save, for I am done Ended what my life’s begun. Wilted, wounded world deprived That I was too weak And could not survive. Joann Renee' Muszynski 11/15/00 With the word, I am mighty, with the pen I am free.. dragonpoe |
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| © Copyright 2000 Joann Renee' Muszynski - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Ah yes - I do believe our hearts are a matching color. Well penned, and I understand what you're saying here. Peace, Christopher |
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Xeonox
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764CA, USA |
very dark indeed. I sense much pain in this poem.  Ronil (The sweet sound of summer sends serenity through my soul searching for that evermore solitude.) |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
hi, i liked the contrast between the first and the second stanzas and liked the alliteration of the line below and how these two lines rhyme: Wilted, wounded world of lost Nailed me to my wooden cross i must say your poetry is evolving and it s kind of nice to witness the growth of a fellow poet |
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dragonpoe Senior Member
since 2000-11-12
Posts 608Palm Bay, Florida |
Thank you, all. kaile, I have been working really hard to focus harder and use more discipline in my writing to succeed at a more defined poem. With the word, I am mighty, with the pen I am free.. dragonpoe |
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Jannel Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 492Muncie, IN, USA |
i liked this very much. the first line was beautiful, and others were haunting. lovely. jann elizabeth If you can feel that staying human is worthwhile, even when it can't have any result whatever, you've beaten them. -1984 |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Whoa! I loved this one. I like the contrasts you've used. Sorta reminds me of what growing up can be like! |
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