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Dark Poetry #2

Drown

Scarlet Lady
Member

since 2000-02-11

Posts 242
Midwest

0 posted 2000-11-14 11:53 PM

I HAVE LAID MY HEART BARE
DON'T THINK THAT GIVES YOU MY CARE
THIS LADY IS RESERVED YET
SHE WAITS FOR THE JOKERS BET
THE ONE WITH SUCH GREAT COST
SHOWED HER ALL SHE LOST
SHE CRIES ALL ALONE AND IT HURTS
HER LOVE AND HATE SURGE IN SPURTS
SHE KNOWS SHE IS A GUARDED WALL
SHE MUST ALWAYS STAND TALL
THERE IS NO ONE WHO TRULY CARES
SO AT THE WALL THIS LONELY LADY  STARES
SHE SHEDS HER FEELINGS OF LOVE
AND YES,   SHE WILL ALWAYS RISE ABOVE
SHE IS TOO STRONG TO BE BROUGHT DOWN
BUT TONIGHT,  FOR YOU,  IN HER TEARS SHE WILL DROWN

CourtneyNdremeda
Junior Member

since 2000-11-13

Posts 15

1 posted 2000-11-15 01:23 AM

Beautiful.
"THERE IS NO ONE WHO TRULY CARES
SO AT THE WALL THIS LONELY LADY  STARES
SHE SHEDS HER FEELINGS OF LOVE
AND YES,   SHE WILL ALWAYS RISE ABOVE
SHE IS TOO STRONG TO BE BROUGHT DOWN
BUT TONIGHT,  FOR YOU,  IN HER TEARS SHE WILL DROWN"

'She sheds her feelings of love...but tonight, for you, in her tears she will drown.'

very skillfully written, i espesially loved the afore mentioned lines

love,
Ipek

dragonpoe
Senior Member

since 2000-11-12

Posts 608
Palm Bay, Florida

2 posted 2000-11-15 09:32 AM

I like the last lines, as they give this piece the feel of softness within an outer shell that tries to remain rock hard.

With the word, I am mighty, with the pen I am free..
dragonpoe

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