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Dark Poetry #2
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silentsky
Member
since 2000-08-09
Posts 114


0 posted 2000-11-09 12:24 PM


i've lost
my
mind
truth
in the form of a man
like
little pieces
i misplaced along the way
coming back
warped
creeping their way
into my
embrace.

© Copyright 2000 silentsky - All Rights Reserved
Jannel
Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 492
Muncie, IN, USA
1 posted 2000-11-09 09:45 PM


this was very good. i liked the way it flowed sort of jaggedly, like the little pieces you describe.

jann elizabeth

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

2 posted 2000-11-10 06:19 AM


Cool technique in this...

I think the word 'creeping' sets the tone effectively - and makes the whole poem..

well done!

K

The wind shifts like this:
Like a human without illusions...
This is how the wind shifts:
Like a human, heavy and heavy,
Who does not care.

W.S

ilph
Member
since 2000-07-28
Posts 78

3 posted 2000-11-17 05:04 AM



shira

this poem makes sense to me. i hope you can put yourself back together in the form of you.

josh

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