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Dark Poetry #2
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taramw
Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 738


0 posted 2000-11-08 06:54 AM


like
a bird
clipped wings
no longer fly.
like
a bird
been hit
eyes shut tight
no longer have sight.
like
a bird
shot, left to die
heart speared
no tears to cry.


~ Tara ~


"A poem should not mean, but be" - Archibald MacLeish

© Copyright 2000 Tara - All Rights Reserved
Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
1 posted 2000-11-08 04:31 PM


Such a sad poem. Left me sitting there just thinking about it all. I love how you used a bird in here. Wonderful!


I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!


Ron K. Fox
Senior Member
since 2000-10-24
Posts 925

2 posted 2000-11-08 05:41 PM


wow, the visual impact of a bird, such a delicate creature, beautiful in flight, now clipped and dead, such is the heart, a fragile object. Nicely done.

Tossing words like wishful coins into the deep well of an open heart. R. fox



kynder
Senior Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 537
Tallahassee, Florida
3 posted 2000-11-08 08:17 PM


this is superb!!  very powerful poem.  thank you for sharing!! really, very very good!!

kynder

"Full is not heavy as
empty, not nearly, my love,
not nearly...."

Fiona Apple

firecrakker
Member
since 2000-10-20
Posts 235
Virginia
4 posted 2000-11-08 10:33 PM


Not only is the heart a delicate and fragile thing..but, love, itself, is so fragile, as well.  Very nicely written.

Sheila

PoetryNest
Junior Member
since 2000-11-08
Posts 46
Orlando, FL. 32703
5 posted 2000-11-09 06:36 AM


Excellent form. Such a heart rendering little piece. Brings out the protective nature.

Cynthia (A Dove) Proctor

ilph
Member
since 2000-07-28
Posts 78

6 posted 2000-11-17 05:14 AM


tara

hmm this is you at your most depressed. shocking images. like i said before, you can fly again.

but wow this is some writing. its so effecting.

josh

sash
Member
since 2000-06-22
Posts 125

7 posted 2000-11-19 11:23 AM


So very sad indeed! Makes this grey day seem more appropriate....Hope You are well...

        ~Sash~


Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364
east coast
8 posted 2000-11-19 01:34 PM


I feel the nurturer in me coming out... very sad, little bird, but written quite well...

-Tier

taramw
Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 738

9 posted 2000-11-19 09:23 PM


Thank you everyone for your kind replies    I really did feel like this one night... images of a bird came to mind... and voila! this was the outcome    Thank you  

~ Tara ~

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
10 posted 2000-11-20 10:13 PM


Tara, I have felt that way, too. Excellent imagery.
Sandra

LM
Senior Member
since 2000-08-03
Posts 585

11 posted 2000-11-24 08:41 AM


*sigh*...
Take Care.

marcos
New Member
since 2000-11-22
Posts 8

12 posted 2000-11-24 09:22 PM


this is really heavy stuff, the way the language is so short, and brief, it makes it all the more depressing. But i think you expressed it very well, at least that's what i got from it, that you were so bummed out, and fed up, that there was only a small window to talk about your feelings.  Definitely, relate to this one, its really good..
PureM
Junior Member
since 2000-11-23
Posts 22
London, UK
13 posted 2000-11-25 03:50 PM


I really like this Tara, such powerful imagery...I look forward to reading more,
Matt

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