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Passions in Poetry

Inner versus Outer

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Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


0 posted 11-07-2000 08:29 PM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Severn

Is imperfection tolerable? I wonder this as I
question the level of flaw
      contrived smiles communicate…
I’m more than a statue,
my eyes blink profusely and
are coloured in light,
they’re motionless only when dreaming –
a rapid-eyed contradiction -
and I shift in the lie my body
creates when walking with the tilt
of radiance, and the stares…
impenetrable beneath the surface of
cloth and skin, to the element in I,
collapsed.
I don’t carry the weight of beauty in my mind.
I’m assigned the outer collectivity
of poise, the vertical sweep of
assessment with a stamp of approval
and I think.
Thoughts don’t mark paths well – they
quaver with truth
and desire, more desire than a man’s urge.
I’m postured…straight…they never seek the morning
rise, the dishevel of unwell or the curl
I develop in the night, legs flung and arms askew…
substantiated, is beauty in the sway of hip
or the stance of real?



The wind shifts like this:
Like a human without illusions...
This is how the wind shifts:
Like a human, heavy and heavy,
Who does not care.

W.S




[This message has been edited by Severn (edited 11-07-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 Kamla Mahony - All Rights Reserved
Ron K. Fox
Senior Member
since 10-24-2000
Posts 937


1 posted 11-07-2000 08:38 PM       View Profile for Ron K. Fox   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ron K. Fox

A diamond by eye is perfect
but flaws may abound
The earth is a sphere
but is it perfectly round?
And though she not fit
perfectly within my arms
They will adjust
to keep her from harm
And though flaws cry out
as we get older
Beauty still remains
within the eye of the beholder

From your work, from what you speak of from your heart, a more perfect soul, one could not ask for, so lucky be he, who you, does see.

Tossing words like wishful coins into the deep well of an open heart. R. fox


Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


2 posted 11-07-2000 08:59 PM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Ron...that is just such a beautiful reply, and poem. Thankyou. I appreciate it.

There really is no competition between outer and inner is there?
And - when you love someone and who they are inside, the outer usually becomes utterly beautiful also. That is what I have discovered.

Big smiles

K


Suzanne Arlene
Member
since 10-09-2000
Posts 384
Ontario, Canada


3 posted 11-07-2000 09:15 PM       View Profile for Suzanne Arlene   Email Suzanne Arlene   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Suzanne Arlene

Wow that was a wonderful poem.It feels like i flipped myself inside out  lol  
Suzanne
Ron K. Fox
Senior Member
since 10-24-2000
Posts 937


4 posted 11-07-2000 09:19 PM       View Profile for Ron K. Fox   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ron K. Fox

Severn, you know the secret, which really isn't a secret...just hard for some to see...and unfortunatelt they wander around in life looking for the "beautiful" one. but they only can see skin deep. I've known georgeous girls who where the worst souls on this planet. So as they say, you can't judge a book by it's cover.

Tossing words like wishful coins into the deep well of an open heart. R. fox


Jamie
Member Elite
since 06-26-2000
Posts 3219
Blue Heaven


5 posted 11-07-2000 09:54 PM       View Profile for Jamie   Email Jamie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Jamie's Home Page   View IP for Jamie

Satpsych For sure dear


Jamie

Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil.
"Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely".

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


6 posted 11-07-2000 10:10 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Satpsych doubled!
Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Laureate
since 08-30-2000
Posts 15536
San Juan, Puerto Rico


7 posted 11-08-2000 12:57 AM       View Profile for Dopey Dope   Email Dopey Dope   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dopey Dope

What a wonderful read.
Thanks for sharing.
Hope to read more of you!



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 08-04-99
Posts 10270


8 posted 11-08-2000 07:38 AM       View Profile for Dark Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Angel

Hey K....

Satpsych Tripled

  

"If my words could blanket the skies
and fill every corner and crevice of
this earth, still this won't be enough"
"Maree Russo"


[This message has been edited by Dark Angel (edited 11-08-2000).]
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 08-04-99
Posts 10270


9 posted 11-08-2000 08:08 AM       View Profile for Dark Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Angel

Hi Ron, indeed a beautiful reply for Kamla  

.and unfortunatelt they wander around in life
                         looking for the "beautiful" one. but they only can see skin deep.
.........Yes Ron, very shallow beings and those that see only skin deep, receive only skin deep don't you think ?

again beautiful reply  

Maree

"If my words could blanket the skies
and fill every corner and crevice of
this earth, still this won't be enough"
"Maree Russo"
catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 06-03-2000
Posts 9897
The Shores of Alone


10 posted 11-08-2000 09:40 PM       View Profile for catalinamoon   Email catalinamoon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit catalinamoon's Home Page   View IP for catalinamoon

A very unpoetic WOW is all I can come up with here. I just love everything about this.
Sandra
firecrakker
Member
since 10-20-2000
Posts 238
Virginia


11 posted 11-08-2000 10:03 PM       View Profile for firecrakker   Email firecrakker   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for firecrakker

How eloquently you have portrayed this concept.. I have truly enjoyed reading this! Thank you.

Crakker

Life is a journey.. not a destination.. - unknown

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


12 posted 11-10-2000 06:27 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Suzanne - well, sometimes I think we can get that way! Lol...and end up not knowing ourselves. Thankyou for your reply.  

Ron - well, yes. I agree...perhaps sometimes, having those 'model' looks can make a person 'ugly' on the inside...sad fact of human nature hey?

Sharon, Jamie and Mmy - ROTF...I phillaud you all...

Javier - thankyou! I don't have time to post as much as I would like...but I'm aiming for it!

Sandra - your unpoetic wow is music to my ears lol...thankyou hon.

Crakker - thankYOU for reading and appreciating...  

K

The wind shifts like this:
Like a human without illusions...
This is how the wind shifts:
Like a human, heavy and heavy,
Who does not care.

W.S
Swamp¤Faeryie
Member
since 12-04-2000
Posts 395
fairyland....of course;)


13 posted 12-23-2000 11:59 PM       View Profile for Swamp¤Faeryie   Email Swamp¤Faeryie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Swamp¤Faeryie

i know this poem is a little old (if you choose to call it that),but severn i just wanted to say how great i think it is,i was browsing around through some other "rooms" or whatever and came across this,it's really wonderful,your words are so i don't know...perfect seems over used,but that's what they are. Loved this poem.

"All art is an expression of pain."~John Lennon
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


14 posted 12-24-2000 10:26 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Psatpsych---QUADRUPLE!!!

most awesome, lady, but yes, you ARE....
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


15 posted 12-27-2000 07:27 PM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

S F - You know I really appreciate hearing that...perfect hey? ...I would find it hard to agree with you heh...at any rate I am just so happy that I can reach someone so much with my words...hugs and thanks

Karen - lol@you...  

K

Jannel
Member
since 01-18-2000
Posts 498
Muncie, IN, USA


16 posted 12-27-2000 10:16 PM       View Profile for Jannel   Email Jannel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jannel

i'm just sad i missed this the first time around. you make such a great point. i find myself fighting this more and more every day. in others as well as myself. happy holidays.

jann elizabeth
Isis
Member Ascendant
since 09-06-99
Posts 6390
Sunny Queensland


17 posted 12-28-2000 08:17 PM       View Profile for Isis   Email Isis   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Isis's Home Page   View IP for Isis

Everything is beautiful, it just takes a special person to see that...
Bravo on this one..  
Isis

*The heart of education is the education of the heart...*
~Isis~~Sovereign of the Spirit.

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 04-06-2000
Posts 10553


18 posted 12-28-2000 08:29 PM       View Profile for Irish Rose   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Irish Rose

Bravo!

This is absolutely an excellent piece of writing.  It is well punctuated, formated, delivered and smashing with imagery and emotion right from the soul.

Well done young lady!

(well I can say that I'm 50 after all  

"Every man dies.
Not every man truly lives."
Braveheart

Kathleen

Lana
Member
since 12-26-2000
Posts 71


19 posted 12-29-2000 05:23 AM       View Profile for Lana   Email Lana   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lana

I'm impressed, very much so. This is full of layers of thought.
Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 11-23-1999
Posts 15611
Lansing, MI USA


20 posted 12-29-2000 09:53 PM       View Profile for Sven   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sven

this is wonderful. . . as is the poet. . . really excellent K. . . glad that I didn't miss it. . .  

-------------------------------------------------------

That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 06-03-2000
Posts 9897
The Shores of Alone


21 posted 12-30-2000 09:42 PM       View Profile for catalinamoon   Email catalinamoon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit catalinamoon's Home Page   View IP for catalinamoon

I had to reread this, it is such a thoughtful and deep poem. I wonder if these questions will ever really be answered.
Happy New Year
Sandra
Joe Houck
Member
since 04-23-2001
Posts 324
california


22 posted 04-26-2001 03:51 AM       View Profile for Joe Houck   Email Joe Houck   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Joe Houck

Love this poem.  It is true that inner beauty over powers outter.  This poem is a wonderful way of telling that truth.  This is going into my library for sure! Wonderful words.


*JOE*  

 
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