navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #2 » Walk In My Shoes
Dark Poetry #2
Post A Reply Post New Topic Walk In My Shoes Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

0 posted 2000-11-01 03:44 PM


Your life is to busy,
to look through my eyes.
But if you took a minute,
I'm sure you'd wonder why.
Why do I live like this,
in the shadows of all that has come,
and all that will be?
Why don't I care what you think?
I'm not perfect,
i just want to be me.
How can I go on,
living this lonely life?
How do I deal,
with the pain,
and the strife.
If you walked through my shoes,
you would see,
that a smile is not a promise,
a glance is not one word,
a heart can not survive,
unless the soul is heard.

Just a little something I came up with.

Don't wander throught this glassy surface, expecting to find more than me, because what I am without a purpose, but a lone mirage to see.

© Copyright 2000 Allysa - All Rights Reserved
just_another_fe
Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 483
MICHIGAN
1 posted 2000-11-01 11:21 PM


i liked this a lot good job  
Ron K. Fox
Senior Member
since 2000-10-24
Posts 925

2 posted 2000-11-02 12:01 PM


pretty good for a little something...I'd like to see what happens if you put an effort into it.show off nananananaa

Tossing words like wishful coins into the deep well of an open heart. R. fox

Xeonox
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764
CA, USA
3 posted 2000-11-02 01:20 AM


This is exactly how I feel sometimes. I craved your last line. Great work.  

Ronil (The sweet sound of summer sends serenity through my soul searching for that evermore solitude.)



Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden
4 posted 2000-11-02 08:34 AM


thanks all for replying!!  
Dark_kisses_Within
Senior Member
since 2000-03-21
Posts 680
Kansas
5 posted 2000-11-02 10:13 AM


Oh I liked this one!  Very good work and thought put together.  Makes ya wonder about how people can judge others or even knock on others till they have walked in their shoes.

Great work,
DkW


No person is worth your tears, and the only one that is ...... will never make you cry


Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
6 posted 2000-11-02 05:52 PM


I honestly believe that this is one of your best ones so far  

"Why do I live like this,
in the shadows of all that has come,
and all that will be?"

"that a smile is not a promise,
a glance is not one word,
a heart can not survive,
unless the soul is heard."

These lines are really good



I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR


Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden
7 posted 2000-11-03 03:45 PM


thank you all for replying! i like to know im heard~!
Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
8 posted 2000-11-04 01:09 AM


I am just now making an appearance into the horrible world of darkness and its wonderful! ok well.......that mighta came out all wrong but hey......... good job. Oh and.......you shoulda told me you all came here, I was beginning to feel all left behind in teen poetry.


xShUgArHiGhx
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
9 posted 2000-11-04 01:48 PM


I feel like this a lot...unfortunately or fortunately i'm not shur...these feelings have become so familiar that its the only comfortable thing i have to fall back on. This was an awesome poem...

Your life is to busy,
to look through my eyes.
But if you took a minute,
I'm sure you'd wonder why.
Why do I live like this,
in the shadows of all that has come,
and all that will be?

I loved it

Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden
10 posted 2000-11-06 08:34 AM


Thanks all for readin' and replyin' to my poem!!!!

Morning rain fell on my window, and I can't see at all. Even if I could it would all be gray, put your picture on my wall, it reminds me that it's not

Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden
11 posted 2000-11-06 08:34 AM


Thanks all for readin' and replyin' to my poem!!!!

Morning rain fell on my window, and I can't see at all. Even if I could it would all be gray, put your picture on my wall, it reminds me that it's not

jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
12 posted 2000-11-06 12:34 PM


This was a great 'little something'. Good thoughts and emotions, reads well too.

jwesley

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #2 » Walk In My Shoes

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary