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Dark Poetry #2
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For_Never
Member
since 1999-10-27
Posts 125
Cincinnati, oh, United States of America

0 posted 2000-10-24 10:55 PM


And too often I turn..away..
from the pain and confusion..
and those thoughts they stray
from my emptied insides...

I am worn from the actions..
the action I take..
Well oiled for percision
well sharpend in pain..

All too often I find my mind
painfully perceptive..
cutting those line..
of sanity withdrawn

Some find it nice.. to take it all in..
Some like to tastethe spices of life...
and to those who wonder whats over the next horizen.
Oh, they shall find..more horizens to find

Edward A. Beerman
10-24-00
< !signature-->

"..Hello...is there anyone out there?..."
Pink Floyd


[This message has been edited by For_Never (edited 10-24-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Edward A. Beerman - All Rights Reserved
Xeonox
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764
CA, USA
1 posted 2000-10-25 12:56 PM


Great poem. I've enjoyed the piece.  

Ronil (The sweet sound of summer sends serenity through my soul searching for that evermore solitude.)



Isis
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland
2 posted 2000-10-25 01:27 AM


Another enjoyable read my perceptive friend, drop me an email if you like my icq is sick..
Isis

*Good will towards all beings is the highest religion*
~Isis~Goddess~~Sovereign of the Spirit~


taramw
Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 738

3 posted 2000-10-25 06:39 AM


Liked this!    Ending was great!  

"A poem should not mean, but be" - Archibald MacLeish

Jannel
Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 492
Muncie, IN, USA
4 posted 2000-10-25 04:23 PM


i enjoyed this, especially the last two lines of the second section. well oiled...well sharpened. very nice.

jann elizabeth

If you can feel that staying human is worthwhile, even when it can't have any result whatever, you've beaten them.

-1984

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
5 posted 2000-10-25 04:39 PM


Well done - I like the switch from the traditional rhyme scheme!

Christopher

Ron K. Fox
Senior Member
since 2000-10-24
Posts 925

6 posted 2000-10-26 07:01 PM


I am worn from the actions..
the action I take..
Well oiled for percision
well sharpend in pain..


great choices of words. love it.

Suzanne Arlene
Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 377
Ontario, Canada
7 posted 2000-10-26 09:56 PM


That was very good .I have felt " emptied insides"   Suzanne
MiseryDivine
Member
since 2000-06-13
Posts 114
Chicago! en america...oh lala! i wish i lived in England.....(sigh)
8 posted 2000-10-26 11:41 PM


hey great job! ive felt like this as well n i liked how u put it to words its kinda like my poem "frost" hehe...keep it up!
Misery Divine

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