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Dark Poetry #2
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firecrakker
Member
since 2000-10-20
Posts 235
Virginia

0 posted 2000-10-21 10:29 PM


Hardrock.. forgive me my poetic injustice, but I felt the need to share the other side of this picture..  

Echoes follow your footsteps
Outside my bedroom door..
Wishing you would stay with me
Just one more hour
Only fading steps..

The latch clicks behind you
You are gone.
Never to return..

I lie here, in soft down covers
Alone, awake
Inhaling the remnants of passion spent
buried in my skin..
my sheets
To afraid to open my eyes and speak
To call you back
to my warmth..

Staring from my fourth floor window
Your taste alive on my lips..
So sweet, still
Searching the cold, damn night
For one more glimpse of you...

Silently pondering the darkness
to the kitchen door...
A cool drink of water
A nervous cigarette
And memories of this night
to hold me until the next...

He didn't even ask my name...




[This message has been edited by firecrakker (edited 10-21-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Sheila Phillips - All Rights Reserved
Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
1 posted 2000-10-22 03:57 AM


firecrakker,
this depicts a one night stand so excellently.
Be well
Kethry


Growth demands a temporary surrender of security.
Gail Sheehy

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
2 posted 2000-10-22 08:49 AM


Awesome. I had the same thoughts in response when I read that poem the first time. It's amazing, isn't it? Love your writing.
Sandra

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

3 posted 2000-10-22 09:55 AM


Excellent.

The last verse particularly really 'got' me - what an atmosphere...

Oh and these two lines:

Staring from my fourth floor window
Your taste alive on my lips..

they rock.

K

Hardrock
Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 948
New Hampshire, USA
4 posted 2000-10-22 10:53 AM


'Crakker....Whoa!!!  This is incredible.  What a nice poem to accompany mine....they should be joined so you can't read one without the other.  Totally different perspectives here on the same subject.  The only "injustice" would be if you had chosen not to respond as you did.  I love it.  Hardrock
firecrakker
Member
since 2000-10-20
Posts 235
Virginia
5 posted 2000-10-22 03:24 PM


I am so glad you all enjoyed this turn, especially, you, Hardrock.  This was your creation... I loved your concept.. and my mind went astray with what was wondered in yours.  
Jannel
Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 492
Muncie, IN, USA
6 posted 2000-10-22 11:35 PM


this was nice. this point of view definitely needed to be heard, as well.

jann elizabeth

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